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Well, I'm not sure where to start, but I'll try to cover everything. This is long, but bear with me and offer me some advice or encouragement, eh? :)

Anyway, I'm an 18 year old guy, in college, and I've never had a girlfriend in my entire life. Hell, I've never even kissed a girl. The reason for this? I really don't know. I'm a pretty attractive guy (I'm told this, I don't want to seem like I'm bragging), I'm nicer to girls than anyone I know, I know how to talk to girls, I'm smart, funny, motivated... so what's the deal? Now, about my history with girls. I've had about 6 or 7 girls that liked me and were attracted to me since my freshman year in highschool. Two of them I really liked, and wanted to date. The other ones I thought were cool, but I just didn't want to pursue it.

First, about the other 4. One of them came on to me, and admitted that she wanted to be in a relationship. This was my first "real" chance to have a relationship, so I freaked out, didn't know what to do, and just let it go to waste (which I really want to kick myself about now). The others I just wasn't attracted to, so that's that.

Now, about the 2 that almost were. The first girl that I really had a chance with and we both were interested in eachother, I went to junior prom with, then homecoming the following fall of our senior year. When I asked her to prom, I didn't really know her, but I thought she would be a nice girl to date. So one day, I asked her to a movie about a week before prom. She said yes, so I thought that was cool. However, as the day approached for our date, I called her and we talked about what we wanted to see (I'm going to sound like a moron here). I didn't think she really wanted to go through with it, so I said "you know, there isn't really anything to see, we can just not go." (Yeah...) I only recently found out she was way excited, and if I had gone through with it, something would have happened between us. I literally [I]cringe[/I] every time I think about this, I feel so stupid. Anyway, we went to prom and it was fun and that was that... Until next year, our senior year. We had a class together, and we started talking and hanging out alot. Then I told her I cared about her, and wanted to go out with her. Well, she said "a boyfriend is the last thing I want right now, I had a bad experience once and I'm not into it right now" (which was 4 years ago... come on!). So, that was the end of that with her.... for now. I'm sounding pretty self-destructive right now, huh?

The second one that almost was. We had known eachother since middle school, but in our senior year, we had a class together, and we became good friends. Well, I developed a crush for her (which she also developed one for me) and so I thought about asking her to senior prom. Well, my friend's girlfriend at the time, who I am still friends with, told the girl I was planning on asking her to prom. She said she was way excited, and she waited around one day after class so I could ask her to prom. Well, after that, we both knew we were interested in having a relationship, even though it wasn't made official, so I asked her out on a date. We went on 2 dates before prom, and one time she called me and I asked her if she wanted to hang out after school sometime so we could spend time together. She says "Well, I wanted to talk to you. Do you want to go to prom as more than friends?" Here it was, here was my chance. I was finally going to have a girlfriend that I really cared for. "Yes," I said in a confident manner, "do you?" Her reply was "Well, I don't want something to happen and have expectations and have it be ruined." (She was going to a different college, about 2 hours away next fall by the way). I said "well, I thought we could start dating and spend the summer together, and take it from there once school starts." She said "well, I'm going to be working alot this summer to save money for school and I don't think I'll have time for a relationship." I said, in my best impression of not being heartbroken, "Ok, no worries." Ok, we were going to prom as friends, and that was the end of that. No dice, my friends. I was so downhearted for a while after that.

Remember girl #1? Well, during the summer we started talking alot more and became good friends again. We hung out a few times. She even admitted she had feelings for me before. Then I asked her, "Is something ever going to happen between us? Because I really want it to." She said "I'm working now, and taking care of my nephew (he's a 1 year old). I'm just not interested in dating right now, sorry." Which is kind of odd, since earlier this summer, she said "you would be such an amazing boyfriend cause you're such a great guy."

Yeah, well, if that's true, what's my damn problem? Honestly, any girl who I eventually end up with will be really lucky, since I treat girls so well. I wouldn't pressure her to do anything she didn't want to. I even want to save sex until I'm married!

Sorry this is so long, I just need to let this out. Now I'm in college, surrounded by all these girls, and I don't even know where to start. I met a nice girl today, and we talked for a while. She's in my spanish class. Maybe that will develop, who knows. But man, I can't believe I'm 18, never had a girlfriend, and I've never kissed anyone. I'm just so ready to have a relationship with a girl. It seems like every time I get close, it doesn't happen for some stupid reason. And looking back, most of it seems to be my own, blundering fault.

Anyway, if you stuck with me, I commend you. If you have any thoughts or encouragement, I'd like to hear it. If you read all this, thanks :wave:

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