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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=Ken-Y]I would really like to tell her how I feel but I have made that mistake with girls and it usually ends up in them losing interest in you so I am afraid that if I do she will not really talk to me because I still want to talk to her and not want her to avoid me if she isnt interested.[/QUOTE]

I would say that it's tough to tell for sure one way or another based on this thread. It's really cool to see all the guys out here though--they always give great advice, and I suspect everyone could be quite right here. I think you need to decide whether you'd rather be friends and not take it further or risk being less close but potentially gain a girlfriend. I've seen guys go both ways, depending on the situation--some find it too painful to stay close with girls wh aren't involved with them and watch them date other guys, and some value the friendship enough that they want it one way or another even though it means never having anything more than a platonic relationship. My inclination is to say that you might want to find a subtle way of gauging her interest and if she dissuades you, then go back to acting like nothing happened and I'm sure she'll do the same. When I've had male friends propose being more than friends and haven't wanted to, I've always wanted them to go back to how things were before and been happy to along with them when they did so. I know this is really junior high, but it occurs to me that this might be a situation where you could try swearing a coworker friend of hers to secrecy that you put her up to it, then have her casually ask your crush something like, "Hey, do you want to come out with us on Friday? You can bring Ken if you want...hey is there anything going on between you guys?" Then have her friend ask if she'd like there to be anything more than friendship...this way you also have a chance to avoid having anyone have to ask her, because when you ask one of her work friends to find out whether your crush is interested in you, she might already have an answer for you that she learned from talking with your crush. That might be the best choice here if you're really worried that she'll feel weird around you and pull away if you broach the subject of taking your relationship to a romantic level. Good luck!





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