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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=greeneyes100]People with good self esteem care about their body and do their best to take care of it. If she is not even trying to do that, then I can see why you are upset. I've seen lots of marriages where the woman will let herself go after she gets a ring on her finger. I know that if I married a man and he became overweight and quick taking care of himself physically, I would be upset.

Yes, you should tell her what is bothering you. Good luck![/QUOTE]

I was wondering that often myself why so many married women tend to just "let themselves go" instead of trying to look attractive for their husbands (and for themselves too, for that matter!). I just don't understand that. They must not realize how lucky they are to have someone to look nice for!

Obviously, that's not a reason for a divorce, and especially when there are kids involved, but I don't agree that just because a woman was able to 'snatch' a husband, she can now 'relax' and just become as unfit and unattractive as she naturally can and expect to keep the husband interested. It's just inconsiderate, I think. Women's metabolism doesn't really change after 30. I'm also 33 and am just as fit, if not more, than ten years ago. I just don't eat junk food and walk and stretch a lot, but I don't live in the gym, by any means. It's not that hard to stay reasonable fit, unless someone has major hormonal imbalances, etc. Low carb diet doesn't work because what people end up doing is eating too many proteins and fat and not enough fiber, which creates imbalances, cravings, etc. She probably eats too much in secret that's why she hasn't lost any weight in 3 years. What works is eating everything in moderation, little to no junk food, and moderate physical exercise.

She just seems completely unmotivated. Has she always been this way, or only after the kids were born? Maybe you guys need to hire a baby sitter on at least a part-time basis, so you two can go out on dates more often. It looks to me like she just turned into a "mother" and completely forgot how to feel sexy or alluring. I bet you she is bored out of her mind with her life. Not bored in a sense of not busy enough, but just probably stuck in a rut. You need to start doing some of the things you were doing while dating and have some FUN together. I don't know--try to surprise her with something, like a ticket to a concert or a romantic cruise, or something out of the ordinary. Flowers even or a bottle of some beautiful perfume. Something to awaken the desire to be feminine and attractive again in her.

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