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Hi guys, I could really use some help if you have any suggestions at all...I'd really appreciate it. I have been evading my online dating site and all my email for the last few weeks (I'm quite good at that as I hate returning messages anyway), and since I've been not feeling well physically with my chronic pain and also sick with the flu or something, I haven't talked with anyone from that site for about two weeks. I was also a bad girl and just disappeared on maybe half a dozen guys, leaving them hanging with tenative meeting plans. I feel guilty about being such a flake, but to my surprise, most of them have still called and/or emailed very recently, and I don't know exactly what to do. I'm still feeling under the weather and probably will be for another week or so, though I am better and more energetic than I have been up until now...I don't know whether to start writing back to the ones I'd like to keep in touch with and actually meet in person now or wait until I am feeling all the way better and up for going out a lot more to respond? I kind of think it's probably best to get back in touch, as I think some of them are starting to think I died :eek:. Well anyway, that's the story. I heard from that guy who spent the night with about two weeks back and I was supposed to contact him next, but I let that slide. I also ignored the guy who I'd had about three dates with who I thought was a good kisser, but I wasn't super enthusiastic and passionate about as a boyfriend or anything. I don't want a boyfriend, because they always want me to stop dating other guys which is NOT COOL. I'm sick of being tied down yet with every guy I see multiple times, it seems to be something I'm pressured into or at the very least, something the guy expects. I was thinking that the good kisser (GK) had understood the message that we weren't dating or anything anymore; I had expected to not hear from him because I didn't return his call about making plans weeks ago and haven't contacted him since. Yet after like three weeks, he finally sends me this puzzling email, which I don't understand at all; it makes no sense to me why he wrote me and why he feels bad. Didn't he just know, like any normal dater, that we were supposed to be dating lots of different people? He seems to be under the impression he did something wrong by going on this other date after we stopped talking--but why? Why would I care? Why does he think this is a bad thing? Did he honestly not realize we were supposed to be dating as many other people as we wanted? It wasn't like we had more than a few dates or had said we were "dating" or anything like that, so I'm really taken aback with his saying stuff like he cares about me and this is the hardest thing he's ever written?! :eek: He actually sounds upset, so feel like I should tell him not to worry, but I'm puzzled as to what is going on and therefore don't know what to say. I was just fine with not talking to him again, so I don't know what to say other than "don't feel bad silly." :nono: I feel like a real jerk here because now there are all these guys who are emailing me seeming all upset or worried. :confused:. I really didn't mean to be a jerk, but once I stop keeping on top of messages, they just pile up because I am so happy ignoring everyone and hibernating in my snail shell. Well sorry for rambling, here is his already-five-days-old-email, and if you could please advise me (about how I should handle this and what to say when to the guys I left hanging but want to still meet) that would be very helpful:

Dear Stacy,
God, I feel like such a jerk right now. I didn't renew my subscription to match but I knew I had your email address from when we had talked before way back in my inbox somewhere but I've been kind procrastinating this because I didn't really want to do it at all. The other weekend when you were hanging out with your mom, this other girl wanted to meet me. So we did and we had a good time. I've been going back and forth, back and forth. For whatever reason, I feel like I kind of need to see what happens with this. There is an extremely great chance I may very well regret giving up the chance to get to know better, an incredibly smart, beautiful woman who is an amazing kisser as well. (And trust me, you are all of those things and much more). I think you're an incredible person and I'm so glad I had the chance to meet you, much less spend the time I did with you. This really, really sucks. I really do want to keep in touch and I care about you so much. But anything I say now sounds kind of disingenious and I don't want to treat you unfairly. You deserve better. I'm so, so sorry. So if you want to keep in touch, I would like that very much. If not, I totally understand. This is the hardest thing I've ever written.
-Dave





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