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well, i don't know if anybody remembers but awhile go (about a month ago), i posted about my gf who broke up with me while she was on a Hawaii cruise. well, like i said, its been a month and my ex and are "friends" so to speak. we knew we couldn't just stop talking to each other. well, we were "hanging" out with each other this past friday and before i knew she was on top of me kissing me. of course i still had feelings for her but this was totally unexpected. she then got off really fast and said she didn't want that and she said that she was sorry. well, i still being stunned, tried to just forget it. well, then i got up to go open a window, and when i sat back down she was doing the same thing again. soon we ended up in intimate relations and we both knew we shouldn't but we did anyway. after, she broke down crying, and she kept saying "omg, what did i just do?" among other self insults. i was lost for words, but then she kissed me this point i have the highest guilt level ever. this is because she is trying to date this other guy now, whom lives in another state, and she said she liked him (trust me, i don't know how she plans to date this guy). well, after i drove her home and she said goodnight and we hugged.

Well, heres the problem, i am not this type of guy to want to be involved in relationships like this, i have really high morals. I asked her if she wants to date me again, and she still says no, so i don't want to be part of a relationship just for "priviledges," thats not how i am. i told her does she really want to date this other guy and she said yes, but all at the same time said she doesn't want to be exclusive to him because he is far away. obviously, she shouldn't even be trying to have a relationship with this guy but thats another story. i am trying to get over her and i have been talking and gone on a couple dates with other girls but she keeps coming back to me with this intimacy but not with the love and this is extremly hard for me to turn her away after we have had such a good relationship for two years. i am basically hers at her will, and i cannot say no nor am i compelled to say no because i don't have any important people in my life now. i told her that i won't be doing this if i find someone else, but she was just smart about it and said "not if your not exclusive to her too". well i know i would be exclusive if i found another girl but she seems not to understand that i am only allowing this because i am not in nothing else serious. today we met again and it was more of the same stuff but no intimacy because i didn't allow it, but she seems to think that its always going to be like this. i am lost at what to do here, i am not like this, i don't break up relationships if anything i have always been the one people come to talk about their problems, but i don't know who to turn to now for my problem. should i allow this, does anybody have any experience in this area? i don't know if i should allow her to continue like this with me. I want to tell her no, but all the same time my whole body goes into the sinking feeling like it was when we broke up and i can't get the words out. i don't think i could turn her away, so does anybody have any comments on the situation? should i try to get her back again, or accept it for what it is now? when i am with her everything feels right but i know it's "play" and it's killing me. thanks in advance everyone.

ps. i might remove this message after i recieve some responses because that girl and some of my friends check this site so i don't want them to see this because it would cause way too many problems among me and my friends. although, i can't turn to anybody else but this forum.

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