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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=greeneyes100]I think men don't want to commit nowadays because they get sex and love so easily. Most women give themselves up too easily, and I am clearly one of these. It's something I finally realized about myself and I think that's why I haven't been lucky in love. If you really want a man, let him continually pursue you. Now, I am not saying that you should act like you dislike them, but just be a little out of reach, sexually for awhile, and emotionally for even longer.

I've noticed that the men who really fell for me were the ones I didn't care about one way or the other. The trick is to hold back when you really are into a man, no matter how hard it gets. The key to winning at love is to live with the uncertainty it entails. I truly believe this.

I think a good thing to do when dating is to date more than one man at a time. That way you don't obsess about just one. That's what I intend to do from now on. Although I used to think it didn't make any difference if you slept with a man right away or not, I've recently changed my view on this.

You should wait at least a month or so before doing the deed, unless you are just in it for the sex. If the man leaves, then you know for sure that's all he was after. If he stays, then you know he is really interested in YOU.

All we can do is learn from our mistakes and recognize destructive patterns we keep repeating.

Hope this helps.[/QUOTE]

Wow, greeneyes, we really are two peas in a pod!! Reading your post made me feel like I was reading my own thoughts!!

In the past, as you also mentioned, I didn't wait so long for guys. I would sleep with them not instantly, but at least I wouldn't wait 6 months.

But, now, I've really come to realize that no matter how progressive a guy is, he will ALWAYS think less of you if you have sex too quickly and if he has any kind of feelings for you, he will wait for you to be ready.

I have known - and been interested in - a guy for about 5 months who has always pursued me relentlessly. He would talk to all of his friends about me, call me at 3am telling me he's 'so in love' with me etc, etc. At the time I had a boyfriend so I didn't do anything but hang out/have drinks/dinner etc.

But, since my relationship ended we have kissed - and nothing else - and I am DETERMIND to NOT have sex with him for a least a few more months. I think so far that its working in my favor.

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