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Hello everyone... sorry for the long post.

My name is Darren and I am a 35 year old male from the UK. I have been married for 11 years now, but I am currently proceeding with a divorce.

Basically I met my wife in church. She was singing at the front and she looked stunning. We got chatting after the service and fixed a date. She told me that she had just come out of a serious relationship and wanted to take it easy. I was fine with that. We were dating for about 9 months before I proposed. My feelings had grown so strong for her that I used to cry when driving home after dropping her off. We never had sex before marraige as we were both church goers and I also respected her, but man I wanted her so much!

After we got married my mum died (she was only 50) and this devastated me because I always turned to her for advice and support with my relationships. I was very close to her. For 3 weeks after her death my wife would leave me to cry myself to sleep at night. She would get into bed and turn her back to me. THis damaged me a lot and her excuse was that we were living near to her ex-fiance which was hard for her. At this time her parents were also getting divorced and that affected her too.

Then, five years later, I was relocated to the other side of the country by me company. THe mairrage had always been hard upto this point because of emotional baggage. After settling in our new place, we both wife started to attend a church. THere were so many hypocrites in this place, it was unbelievable. It completely put me off church for life and I stopped going altogether. My wife also switched churches and started going to a black African church. I never knew about them but I heard they were very 'passionate' people. I started to notice that this was rubbing off on my wife too. I think this was what started the violence...

Because my wife was going to church and I wasn't, she used to shout at me and tell me to get down on my knees and pray for the marraige. She said that I wasn't being a proper supportive husband because I didnt pray and read the bible with her. I told her how I felt and that she should love me for who I am. I work fulltime in IT and have always made sure she has food and a roof, heating, nice clothes ect.

One day my best friend came around the house and we were watching tv together. I went into the kitchen to ask Rachel if she wanted a cup of tea. With that she started shouting at me, telling me that I was spending too much time with my friends. I said that I only saw him at the weekend, and only a couple of hours for that. I told her that she was being unreasonable. During this time I was helping her to make an album by turning one of the rooms into a recording studio for her. I would do the recording and sound mixing while she sang. Iwould also put all the instruments into the background for her. While we were arguing, she told me to remove the songs as she didnt want me to 'use' her by making lots of money from the songs. I then said that I would put them onto a CD and give it to her, and then wipe the songs off the computer. She then turned around and hit me in the face. My friend sat there and watched it all happen, and then he persuaded me to call the police. I did so and when they turned up, they saw the marks on me and asked if I wanted them to arrest her. I said no but could they give her a warning and maybe she would see how serious it was.

Since then she has had 5 seperate violent outbursts where I had the call the police. On the last occasion, she totally trashed the living room and dining room (I took pictures for the solicitor) and is constantly bullying me into praying and reading the bible with her. The police cant do anything because they have to catch her in the act, and even if I dial 999 they still take about 2 hours to turn up.

I have started divorce proceedings against her. She has now moved back to where we used to live but keeps phoning me and acting as though nothing has happened. Ikeep telling her that I am getting divorced, but that gets her violent again. The neighbours around our street have also had to call the police a few times as well, and she on one occasion was shouting in the street at 2.00am in the morning, speaking in 'tongues'. I am fed up with it all and just want to have a normal life!

I told her not to come back home. I haven't heard from her for nearly a week which I am pleased about but I really think she needs professional help. I still care about her and want her to be ok. What can I do to help her?

I also wanted to post this 1) to get this off my chest and 2) I want to make new friends who I can talk to about this stuff. Society looks down on a guy when he is being bulied by a woman. I found out since going through this just how many other guys there are out there who are frightened of speaking out.


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