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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hi there, I am very happy and relieved to hear that you are getting treatment to help you find healthy ways to cope with the painful issues we all struggle through and which I am really sorry to hear that you've faced more than your share of so far in life. To be honest, I am not all that surprised to hear that you experienced sexual abuse in the past and were struggling with cutting and self esteem problems before you met your boyfriend...my heart goes out to you, as I can't imagine how difficult and hard it must be to cope with such traumatic memories. For what it's worth, I think you're very brave and admirable for coping as well as you have and especially for having the courage to seek professional help for issues that are too tough for anyone to tackle on their own. It does sound like your boyfriend is making a sincere and successful effort to change the behaviors that hurt you so much, and it also sounds like you have reasonable expectations and goals for the future if he's not able to sustain his new behavior and refrain from causing you pain and anxiety. I hope that is not the case and that he is able to remain a positive influence and source of support for you--how are things going other than the porn/other women issues in your relationship? Have you two considered that your relationship might benefit from couples counseling? I don't know if either of you feel that there are still issues that you'd like to address and work on together, but if so, it could definitely be helpful. it sounds like you both struggled at one point with feelings of insecurity and fears of abandonment--are those still affecting you as individuals and as a couple? Anyway, I am glad that you opened up to us here and shared your experiences and hope you found it helpful to vent and that you'll continue to do so in the future if it helps you to talk about what you're going through and feeling. I'm very sorry that you have had to deal with so many difficult and painful obstacles, but it seems like you have a pretty good perspective on your life, and I really hope that things continue to go well for you. Please keep us posted on how you are doing and good luck with everything!





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