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Nina, I had to go back and read your first post about your boyfriend's mom because I had missed it. It sounds as if she is not welcoming and that really is a shame. However, what you don't want to do in this relationship is stoop to her level. If I were you, I would join my BF when he went up there, even if it meant I were uncomfortable. Because I would wonder if she were using the time that he was up there to try to get him to leave you. You should go and ALWAYS be polite.

Now about the money, it is his money. You are only living together, not engaged nor married. I know that sounds harsh, but it is a fact. As long as he is meeting his part of the rent/expenses then you really can't tell him what to do with it. If he wants to use some to buy his sister a gift or travel to see his parents, then that is his choice as he works for a living.

Also, you admitted that you go out and spend just to get back at him, that is not hurting him, that is actually hurting YOU. Aren't you spending your money, putting yourself into debt or making yourself have to scrimp for the rest of the week? I bet you don't get any pleasure out of it either, do you? It's not really a good thing to do and could lead to a big financial disaster later on. You also work hard for your money, right?

The other thing I see is a control issue going on, you feel you have no control over the relationship. His parents do and that is very frustrating! I have no idea how old you both are, but I would assume twenty something for his parents to still have so much say in his life? Where are your parents? I had the same situation when I was first living with and then married to my hubby. His parents were very domineering and wanted to be in control of their son. I was raised to be independant and think for myself, so you can imagine the clashes. Finally after about the first 2 years of marriage, my hubby realized he didn't need his nose wiped everytime he sniffled!LOL

The last thing I will suggest is that your BF needs to get his life straight. He either needs to grow up and go to court for visitation or take a step back from his sons life. Men who use that tired out excuse of not wanting to upset the childs mom, are just dead beat dads. Does he pay child support, has there been a court case to decide that already? If so, I doubt the childs mom worried about whether it would upset him or not. AND if YOU are a good person who doesn't drink or do drugs, then she can't say her son can't be around you!

Hang in there Nina and if you love this man, then fight a good clean fight for him. But it will be an uphill battle and I am inclined to agree with the other posters on your original thread and say maybe you should rethink this relationship, dear girl.

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