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Relationship Health Message Board


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Steven,
You seem like a very caring boyfriend and Donna is lucky to have you. I know you want to be the one to help her, but depression is a serious illness that many times needs to be treated with medication. The best thing you can do for her is encourage her to go to counseling and support her through it. She lost trust in you, and it's a matter of getting it back, and it seems her depression is making that difficult for her.
It also sounds like she's very insecure, which also goes hand in hand with the depression. Do little things to help her with this, such as complimenting her regularly and genuinely. Do your best to make sure she knows how special she is to you. Other than that, there's not much else you can do. It's up to her to make the choice to see a counselor and I believe that's what she needs.
Don't feel like what you did was the end of the world. It just bothered her so much because she was already very insecure and vulnerable. With the help of a doctor, she will come to realize that your "little habit" has nothing to do with her or your feelings for her. But right now, she is feeling as though it does. She may feel less attractive and less able to make you happy.
Just continue to be there for her and encourage her to seek counseling for her depression. It's not something you can cure for her.
[QUOTE=LittleRose1982]Steven,
You seem like a very caring boyfriend and Donna is lucky to have you. I know you want to be the one to help her, but depression is a serious illness that many times needs to be treated with medication. The best thing you can do for her is encourage her to go to counseling and support her through it. She lost trust in you, and it's a matter of getting it back, and it seems her depression is making that difficult for her.
It also sounds like she's very insecure, which also goes hand in hand with the depression. Do little things to help her with this, such as complimenting her regularly and genuinely. Do your best to make sure she knows how special she is to you. Other than that, there's not much else you can do. It's up to her to make the choice to see a counselor and I believe that's what she needs.
Don't feel like what you did was the end of the world. It just bothered her so much because she was already very insecure and vulnerable. With the help of a doctor, she will come to realize that your "little habit" has nothing to do with her or your feelings for her. But right now, she is feeling as though it does. She may feel less attractive and less able to make you happy.
Just continue to be there for her and encourage her to seek counseling for her depression. It's not something you can cure for her.[/QUOTE]

You sound like you know exactly how it's going for us. I do do all the little things to make her feel good and she ensures me that it helps, and that it is also a long process to heal...so I think I'll try to some research to learn more about depression and what kind of help we can get and in the meantime, just continue what I'm doing I suppose. She's always had bad side effects to medication for depression so that's what's sort of holding her back from that, but there's probably alternatives...Thanks a lot for your advise :)





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