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[QUOTE=stacykgb20]Hi Boston Girl,
Do you think it might help you to read your threads from when you first met your latest ex? It might be empowering for you to realize that in the beginning, he was the one pushing for a relationship and you were ambivalent about whether he was really someone you wanted to be involved with, especially because he acted flaky on you several times as your relationship was developing. I'm not sure if there's any way you can influence whether or not someone you trust turns out to be worthy of your faith in him, but if there is, I'd say it's just to be really careful about who you open yourself up to. If a guy does anything shady or sketchy as you are getting to know him (lies, disappears, flakes out, etc.), the chances are pretty good he is eventually going to let you down big time. There are always some that slip through the cracks though and that's just part of love; you have to take risks to achieve any rewards worth having. Of course, it helps to select men who are consistent in their commitment and devotion to you and who have always been decent and honorable guys in the past. Guys who have baggage or issues from their past are usually full of it and just making excuses for their past, current, or future bad behavior. And of course choosing men who are less than totally into you (and want the same kind of relationship you're looking for) is pretty much setting yourself up to be eventually hurt and disappointed. Other than that, I'd just try to trust your instincts, and in the future, when you have doubts about a potential boyfriend, maybe be a bit more wary or at least slower to get involved and attached. I definitely think you are way too good for your ex and although I am very sorry to hear that you ended up hurt, I think that ultimately you are a lot better off without him and all his nonsense and baggage. Remember that you deserve nothing less than everything you want in a partner and should never have to settle--just because a guy is interested in you and seems appealing doesn't mean he will make a compatible partner or is worthy of entrusting with your heart. With occasional exceptions, people are generally pretty consistent in their actions, so if a guy has cheated in the past or had dramatic, dysfunctional relationships with exes, the odds aren't too good that things will work out happily ever after with him. You and GE both deserve men who are crazy about you and will treat you like goddesses, so I hope neither of you will consider settling for anything less from now on! :)[/QUOTE]

Hey Stacy,

I agree 100% with what you've said. I definitely know that I'm better off without him and the more time that goes by, the more I begin to realize he does have too much baggage for me to have to deal with. Right from the beginning, that was one of his concerns...that he had too much stuff in his past that I didn't need to deal with. I think he was looking at our age difference and saw that maybe I could do better than him. Aside from that awful thing I went through a few weeks back with him, he really did treat me much better than any of my exes...very attentive, very sweet, he would surprise me with different things...but all that is erased after he betrayed me. The girlfriend he had before me...what a headcase! She would show up at all hours of the night and aruge with him. Of course, he would yell back (he does have a bad temper when he gets angry). But when him and I were together there was never any arguing because I do not like fighting with anyone (the only time we argued was the day after he slept with someone, I was at my friend's house, upset, and we got drunk and I called him. Oops). Anyway, he argues with a lot of people because he's got strong opinions and it seems that that's just the way he is and it occurred to me it's probably as much his issue as it is the other person's. I just never gave him any opportunity to throw his temper at me. I knew he had a lot of unresolved issues because of his divorce, he felt like he couldn't trust, he didn't want to go through that again. It seems to me that he thought he wanted a relationship with me but just got scared....he married when he was 20 because his gf got pregnant and never really had a life where he could do what he wanted, date whoever he wanted, because he had a wife and child to take care of. Now, he seems like he's reliving the past he never had, going out and wanting to just hook up with whoever. If that's what he wants to do, I don't care anymore. I got myself some good earplugs so that I don't have to be subjected to it anymore. :D

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