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Relationship Health Message Board


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No, you are not the only one. I am exactly like that too, and I have had a bad relationship with my father so I think a lot of my insecurities in that regard stem from my past. Of course, I can't put all the blame on THAT. Its also just how I am.
Right now, my boyfriend and I have just gone through a giant adjustment period that worked out horribly (him taking on med school and us in the same place) and now we are having problems for the first time in almost 2 years (1 of which was long-distance). We have generally been very happy before now. It is killing me. While it is both my fault AND his, my fault stems from the exact description that you just described. I am a huge fan of open communication, yet I talk about EVERYTHING and do not pick my battles, i.e, getting upset when he doesnt want to see me more and/or want to call me during his free time. Lately its pushed him away- hes had a huge amount of stress. I think Ive also been TOO honest- I tell him every time I feel neglected, etc. , right then and there before thinking it through and getting over it. Its not necessary. We are going to start working through it, but these past 2 days are the first we have not talked in 2 years, as he says he 'needs his space'. Now we are planning to try just small steps to start getting to normal again. It sucks.
My point is, you're not the only one, but its not the best quality. My boyfriend isnt the best initiator of feeling/action and definitely not the most expressive. So sometimes he is perfect in my eyes one day and the next hes totally distracted. I also tend to 'compare' how much we do for each other, which is DISASTROUS, as Ive learned. Sometimes I 'worry' (hence the word) that its incompatibility, or if I just 'see things' and then make them a MUCH bigger deal then they need to be because I need a lot of attention and consistent love. And then he gets frustrated and ignores me in return.
The thought of losing him at all is making me ready to really decrease this. Sorry for the story but I hope it helps you see that you are not alone, yet I'm trying to change! It hasnt helped this transition we've been through. Im sure it is normal to be this way, but my boyfriend just has a hard time dealing with me when hes under a lot of stress, like this last month, so Id rather not think this way anymore!





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