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I posted earlier about whether or not I should tell my boyfriend that I was asked to hangout and watch movies with this guy I met at the coffee shop. It turned sour - I told my boyfriend that this guy from the coffee shop asked if I wanted to go hang out with him and his mates.

I wanted to go mainly because I haven't gone out with friends in a while. As a matter of fact, I really dont have real friends at the moment since all my close friends have left the country. The closest friend I have at the moment apart from my family is my boyfriend. Im happy with that - I just missed going out with a group of people. I dont know this guy really well - all i know is, he has shown no sign of sexual interest in me and it seems that he genuinely just wants to be friends.

I wanted to go with him and his friends and just have good fun. I told my guy about it and he said if I wanted to go - then I should go. Be that as it may, he says this guy was asking me out on a date. Now, maybe Im just being naive but I didnt think of it that way. This guy I met at the coffee shop KNOWS that I have a boyfriend and that Im very much in love with him. Like I said, maybe Im just naive - I didnt interpret it as a date (honestly) since there were many people going and this guy knew I had a boyfriend.

My guy saw it as a date - So I didnt go. I didnt want to go. I mean my boyfriend was right - all the male friends I have, all of them tried to get into my pants. Ok, thats a horrible way of putting it... but basically males I were friends with for years developed strong feelings for me and tried to take it to the next step. And all the guy I have just met and have NOT developed a friendship with - they all wanted to be more than friends. I dont know about this guy though (the guy I met at the coffee shop).

So yeah - I didnt go. I mean when my guy explained his feelings - I was quite shocked because those thoughts never even crossed my mind. I never thought of this whole thing as a date with this guy. I never thought this guy would try anything - Like I said, maybe Im naive.

Anyways things got sour because my boyfriend interpreted the whole thing as this guy asking me out on a date and I was accepting it HENCE I wanted to go out on a date with him - and thats not true! I DONT want to date this guy. This is where I got annoyed and said - so why do you interpret this as a date? If I went out with an old male friend - its not considered a date (well he doesnt consider it a date. Ive hanged out with a very close male buddy which my guy knew well - my boyfriend did not interpret it as a date at all. He was really cool with it - as a matter of fact he encouraged me to go. So I dont get why he sees this one a date (?)

Is that how it works? If you just recently met a guy and you guys arent really friends and he asks you to hang out - is that a date?

Either way, i respect my boyfriend's feelings. I put my place in his shoes and I admit - I wouldnt be comfortable with it. I wouldnt be comfortable with my guy going out with a girl he recently just met at a coffee shop.

I dont know if this is true and I'm sure many of you would disagree with me but I feel like... one of the hardest things about being a woman is that it seems like you just cant be friends with a guy. Ok, yall might think Im so desperate to have male friends - thats not true. All Im saying is that this guy at the coffee shop was really cool and I would have liked to be friends with him. But if there is a risk of him filling me in while we were watching the movies - uhhh no. Like, I just cant be bothered to go if that was the case. I just dont want to test the water and see if its going to happen.

I genuinely wanted to have good fun and just laugh - but if that means 'something' might happen between me and this coffee guy - its just not worth it. Because I know I will feel bad. And I know Id want to tell my boyfriend mainly because he is my best friend too and I know he will get angry.

Does this whole thing make sense? Am I naive? This is weird but sometimes I wish I could be a kid again. I wish I could go back - I remember hanging out with both my girl and boy mates. We would finish soccer practice and we just all hang out and have an awesome time. I remember all of us being in one room, all huddled up watching freaky movies. Course this is like when I was 13 - but I just miss that. The older you get - it just gets so complicated!

There were many times when guys have asked if I wanted to join them for a coffee (this was before I even had a bf) - I would think nothing of it. I just think its nasty to assume that every guy I meet - most of them just want to get into my pants. But it seems like... thats the case.

I feel so stupid telling my boyfriend that I honestly dont think badly of it. I honestly told him today that I dont think this guy I met at the coffee shop is interested in me in THAT way. Well I wasnt interested and I have never flirted with this guy. Anyways my boyfriend says for someone so mature and smart, Im quite naive.

Do I need to grow up in this area? I know I sound like Im just out of high school but really... Am I naive?





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