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I think your biggest problem here is not your girlfriend's desire to keep a friendship with her ex, but rather her blatant disregard for your feelings on the matter. For her to say "We're going to stay friends, no matter what you think" is incredibly selfish, immature, and shows little respect for you. Therefore, I think you should address her lack of respect for you before anything else.
I personally would never want to be friends with an ex. What's the point? I tried it once but he thought my friendliness meant an open door to get back together, and I ended up having to explain why we weren't right for each other AGAIN after I already fought that battle years ago. It's just a waste of time for me personally. I have friends, I don't need my ex's. On the other hand, for some reason I have known many guys who insist on remaining friends with their ex's. And 99% of the time, the ex still has feelings. This is a dangerous and lethal relationship situation. I refuse to remain in a relationship with someone who maintains that this sort of behavior is acceptable. They are setting themselves up for problems with their current S.O, not to mention playing with the feelings of their ex for the sake of their own validation! I dated a guy once who did this, and he would tell me all about how his ex still wants him, blah blah blah... I concluded that he was immensely insecure and relied on using other people to pick himself up and feel better about himself. He was trying to play on my jealousy. I tossed him before he had a clue what was going on.
Anyway, the first thing you need to do is talk to her about why she doesn't listen to you and respect your feelings. Explain to her that you are trying to maturely talk through a problem and reach a solution best for the relationship and that sometimes you feel she isn't being fair in that regard. If she still turns her nose up at you and refuses to stop, it may be time to take a break from the relationship and see just how much she likes that.





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