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Thank you very much for your advice, Kanga. In all honesty, I don't really know what void Bobby could be filling. When I'm with my boyfriend, I'm always happy; anything we do together, be it playing a game or sharing a kiss, I always enjoy it. He's very sweet, respectful, and loving above I had said, there's nothing I would change about Corey, so I'm not sure how he could be lacking something.

In a way, as much as I want to spend my life with Corey, there is something that keeps me from fully believing in that at times, and that is the experience I had with my ex-boyfriend. In the beginning, I was desperately in love with my ex, and I felt as though I wanted to be his wife and spend my life with him. But after a year and a half, things began to go downhill rapidly, and I fell out of love with him. I admit, I'm far more in love with Corey than I was with my ex when we were five months into the relationship, but I have this fear deep down inside me that tells me that something stupid will tear Corey and I apart and that I'll just be let down again when I learn that he's not what I want. But I just don't want that fear to rule my relationship, because I do love Corey. I don't want my paranoia to do my tihnking for me, and for the most part so far, I haven't let it run my life and my heart.

I'm not trying to argue with you or anything, Kanga, because I am grateful for your advice. But I really think that the void that is asking to be filled is the distance between Corey and I. He won't move here because he has no money and neither do his parents, and I can't move back home because I'm in college and I don't want to drop out. He knows I miss him, and he misses me - I knew a long-distance relationship would be difficult on the both of us, but I know that no other guy would ever love me the way Corey loves me, nor would I ever be able to love another like I love him...somehow, I know deep down that all my loneliness and tears will be worth it when I can be with Corey.

I wish my heart didn't go wandering, but I can only restrain it so much at times...oh well, I guess if I just don't give it a lot of thought, my crush will eventually fade and I can focus on the love I share with Corey instead of being infautated with a friend. *sigh*

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