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I seem to be having trouble with my boyfriend every two weeks! Im really upset and I have just been crying for 3 hours straight - Im feeling so messed up I dont know where to begin! Im just experiencing so many mixed emotions right now!

Let me back track, I went to my mom's house today. She bought me this perfume (which she squirted on me). My mother LOVES perfumes - anyways I didnt particularly like the smell but I thanked her for it and left. I saw my guy later on... Basically, he hates the smell and he said I smelled like a hooker. He cant explain it but he says its so cheap and sleazy - I smell like a hooker. I never actually thought about it - but he was right. Quick family history - my mother is an escort. She has been with many many men. All the men she has met and married- they all met at clubs. Depends on your point of view, you can view escorts as women entertaining men (talking, drinking, flirting with them etc) I know my mother does that and it has always embarrassed me. It does sound horrible but I do view my mom as a hooker in a way. I know a lot of escorts[COLOR=DarkRed] {removed}[/COLOR] their clients for money and I cant help feeling that way about my mother.
My boyfriend knows all this - so when he said that I cried and went in the shower to wash the smell off. It didnt come off and he made a comment about how I didnt get furious when he said I smelled like a hooker. I usually get VERY ANGRY. I was angry but I was mostly hurt - I didnt get all loud like I usually do. I was just silent...
It was just bad... I talked to him and asked why he was just so cold and mean - he is never like that. He basically says he is sorry and he cant do it anymore. He admits he is insecure. He admits that he has a tough time trusting me. He admits that he thinks the worse about everybody - he also says that the prettier the girl is the more suspicious he is. He admits he is being unfair on me and that he thinks he cant change. He suggested that its better if we went our separete ways. I cried when he said all this! It was just so overwhelming. I asked him what does this have to do with the perfume.
He said... He tried calling me and I never answered my phone then he sees me wearing cheap hooker-like perfume. He says he assumed the worse. He thinks the worse. He says he has tried but he doesnt know what to do. He says he thought he could change but... he it keeps coming back. He feels doubt with me.
I feel that way too - there are times when I feel doubt - everyone feels that way. AND YES to a certain degree. Im feeling so confused and hurt.
I cried on his shoulder and I asked him to try... try harder. He says he loves me and he doesnt want me to leave- he just says he knows he is being unfair on me.
Please help, is there anything I can do? I love this man with all my heart and I know he loves me back - how do I stop these doubts?
[QUOTE=adrianamaxim]I seem to be having trouble with my boyfriend every two weeks! Im really upset and I have just been crying for 3 hours straight - Im feeling so messed up I dont know where to begin! Im just experiencing so many mixed emotions right now!

Let me back track, I went to my mom's house today. She bought me this perfume (which she squirted on me). My mother LOVES perfumes - anyways I didnt particularly like the smell but I thanked her for it and left. I saw my guy later on... Basically, he hates the smell and he said I smelled like a hooker. He cant explain it but he says its so cheap and sleazy - I smell like a hooker. I never actually thought about it - but he was right. Quick family history - my mother is an escort. She has been with many many men. All the men she has met and married- they all met at clubs. Depends on your point of view, you can view escorts as women entertaining men (talking, drinking, flirting with them etc) I know my mother does that and it has always embarrassed me. It does sound horrible but I do view my mom as a hooker in a way. I know a lot of escorts[COLOR=DarkRed] {removed}[/COLOR] their clients for money and I cant help feeling that way about my mother.
My boyfriend knows all this - so when he said that I cried and went in the shower to wash the smell off. It didnt come off and he made a comment about how I didnt get furious when he said I smelled like a hooker. I usually get VERY ANGRY. I was angry but I was mostly hurt - I didnt get all loud like I usually do. I was just silent...
It was just bad... I talked to him and asked why he was just so cold and mean - he is never like that. He basically says he is sorry and he cant do it anymore. He admits he is insecure. He admits that he has a tough time trusting me. He admits that he thinks the worse about everybody - he also says that the prettier the girl is the more suspicious he is. He admits he is being unfair on me and that he thinks he cant change. He suggested that its better if we went our separete ways. I cried when he said all this! It was just so overwhelming. I asked him what does this have to do with the perfume.
He said... He tried calling me and I never answered my phone then he sees me wearing cheap hooker-like perfume. He says he assumed the worse. He thinks the worse. He says he has tried but he doesnt know what to do. He says he thought he could change but... he it keeps coming back. He feels doubt with me.
I feel that way too - there are times when I feel doubt - everyone feels that way. AND YES to a certain degree. Im feeling so confused and hurt.
I cried on his shoulder and I asked him to try... try harder. He says he loves me and he doesnt want me to leave- he just says he knows he is being unfair on me.
Please help, is there anything I can do? I love this man with all my heart and I know he loves me back - how do I stop these doubts?[/QUOTE]


Sweetie, this man is very insecure. You deserve better than that! Don't beg for love... sweetie, you are a gem and if he doesn't realize it and "proves" it to you and I'm not talking a "couple of weeks", dump him.

He needs to grow up.

In the meantime, improve yourself. Go back to school. Travel the world. Meet new people and I know- a good, self-assured man will appreciate the wonderful, real you.

Sometimes, people who become parents doesn't think their actions would affect their children. As people grow older and still "carry" these scars from childhood, it's hard to shake them off and go on with life. We're left with the "ghost" of our parent's past and somehow carries into our present. A lot of people go for help thru therapy or their pastor or deacons... and these take a long time to heal. Some of us who grew up in these situations can't control ourselves until we learn exactly what the problem is.

Having a parent who's past occupation is not something we'd normally shout out is tough. Seek counseling to help "you"... and nobody else. Unless you can do it yourself.

In the meantime, be good to yourself... you'd gone through a lot in life and only you can be kind and gentle to "you".





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