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Wow, I went through the same thing. I was with my ex-boyfriend for about nine months when he told me that he was a cross-dresser. At first I acted completely cool about it all and said I thought it was neat. He actually showed me all of this clothes - he had cuter clothes than I did! But it didn't take long for me to realize that it wasn't something I could be okay with. I realize that a secret like that is not something you want to just bust out with after dating someone for a week or two. But I was so angry...I had been with him this long, grew so close to him, and NOW I find this out. He was thrilled that I was supposedly cool with it, and talked about how he wanted us to go out together, with him dressed as a girl. I just couldn't handle it.

I don't condemn cross-dressers. As a woman I myself love getting all dressed up now and then, I understand the appeal. But I couldn't deal with having a boyfriend who did, because I want a manly man. We broke up not long after, not just because of that, but for a lot of reasons. I feel bad for anyone who has a secret like that, because it must be very hard to keep. And you never can tell how your SO will react. But it's still no excuse for keeping it hidden like that.

You have every right to feel betrayed Nancy. If he is in so much denial it may not be easy for him to understand just how much this has hurt you. It could be hard for him to be just your friend...that will have to be up to him whether or not he wants that. I wish you all the best...this kind of thing is really quite a blow.

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