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Relationship Health Message Board

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So sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, being a woman in our society is like being caught between a rock and a hard place. I've heard a story similar to yours perhaps only a hundred times. Guys try to seduce us and pressure us into sex after a few dates, and so most women who have dated for a number of years have most had several partners, like it or not. And then you find someone you think finally loves you and it's all for real and then something like this happens. It's really sad and almost ironic. Very, very sad. We live in a hypocritical society. The best you can do in the future is to NOT offer anyone the exact number. Either tell him it was only a few partners, or just refuse to talk about it altogether, like Ruth said. I don't really see many alternatives as most men are hypocritical and would have a problem with a woman who was with a lot of men in the past ("a lot" meaning very different things to different people). Some guys might resent it even if you had even two or three boyfriends before them, believe it or not. It's best not to talk about it if you want to have a successful relationship. Personally, I only had a few boyfriends in my life, but I would still prefer not to talk about numbers or ex boyfriends with someone I dated. Forget it; they will never forgive you and will not get over it, so what's the point.

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