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This is the first time i've ever tried doing anything like this before but i have no where else to turn. I have lost all trust in every one I know. Here's my story.

I'm 19 years old and full of confusion. I've been on off with my boyfriend for just over a year, and looking back on it, it wasn't a normal relationship. I met him in work and would always see him there but he only ever took me out on dates a few times, we never went anywhere together and know i feel he must have been ashamed of me or something. At the beginning of our relationship we made a promise to each other that no matter what happens in the furture we will always remain friends. Apart from seeing each other in work i would always go round to his, he lives with his parents. He never introduced them to me because i already knew them, at the start i used to pop in the kitchen, living room to pop my head round to say hi and then go up to his room, towards the end of the relationship her used to open his front door and we'd go straight up stairs. His parents must have thought i was an igronatunt *****. I love his company and the confursations we used to have, and i liked knowing that he cared for his family and always putting them first. Time went by i he wanted to cool the relationship down, which to me hadn't really got started, but everytime we where all out as mates he would ask to give it another shot, i always said yes but by the next day he would send me a text to see how i was by saying something like "hows me mate doing".

Everything that happens to be i always confided in my best friend from school, we've been on several holidays together and share the same mates. I told her everything and she was my shoulder to cry on whenever i needed her. Our friendship started to slide a little when i met my boyfriend because i had found out that she lied to one of our other friends. We'll call my other friend Sarah not to confuse you. Sarah had been going out with a boy and 5 seconds after they finished my best friend was going out with this boy. I told her to tell Sarah because it would sound better coming from her than someoner else. She didn't listen, her relationship with Sarah's ex lasted about a month but Sarah couldn't remain friends with her, she was too hurt.

I know knew what my friend was capable of, i slowly stepped back from her and didn't tell her everything anymore. I also stopped going out as much as i used to but that was also related to work.

At this point me and my boyfriend wern't together but i was still seeing him whenever he would ask, stupid i know but i thought i had to try because i have strong feeling for him and even though most of the compliments i would get from him, and his feelings for me were when he was drunk i couldn't help but want it back. No matter if we was with each other or not he would text me every single day with out failure. The last fortnight he just stopped and he couldn't look at me in work. He was always on his phone but never to me,.

I had a gut feeling inside of me that he could be with her but a told my self not to be so silly, she promised me she would never lie to me or go after my fellas but she has been with every one of my ex's and because i had always moved on from them i didn't say anything.

I called my bluff on him because i couldn't handle it anymore i needed to know if i was wrong. Turns out they were and still are seeing each other and that it was non of my business!

Ive lost two of my best friends now and dont know what to do. im angrey with my self because i could'nt get angrey when i spoke to them i was to upset.

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