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Iím in what you callÖ a predicament.

I have been seeing this girl from college and we started having sex September 30th or October 1stÖ one of the two. She missed her last period and she was worried and so was I, so she decided to get a pregnancy test and now she is pregnant. Her last period started around October 16th or 17th and I told her that when she went to the doctor he would tell her that her conception period was approximately 12-14 days from the first day of her last period. This is important because hereís the dilemma:

Prior to me, she had a boyfriend (now her ex) and she just told me yesterday that after we started having sex (Sept. 30) she slept with him once more, which is really great to know now. Anyway, she told me that it was around October 5th when that incident happened. The doctor told her today that she is a month pregnant to 6 weeks, which I already figured the date would be.

Now, I know that women can have a ďperiodĒ but more so a false period even when they are pregnant (her mom did as well when she had herÖ three ďperiods,Ē or as I tried to tell her, three times she was bleeding but not really having her period).

My thing is this. Her parents donít know about me. Her ex-boyfriend doesnít know about me and the doctor definitely doesnít know. But I personally donít see how it could be his because letís say hypothetically his sperm did enter her (no they werenít wearing protection, another great bit of information to know later)Ö it could only live 5-7 days and she wouldnít have had her period once the egg made itís way down the fallopian tube anyway. Plus, his sperm would have died by the latest, October 12thÖ her period didnít start for at least four days later.

When she and I had sex we used protection. However, and I know this is stupidÖ before I would put on a condom we started out without one every time. I never once ejaculated inside her and I know the story about pre-cum. The reason that I think it is mine is because we would have sex and then (I know this is stupid too) not too much later we would have sex again and once again I would start off without wearing protection and sperm can be trapped inside my urethra from the last get-go and then move into the vagina from there.

But her parentís think it is her ex-boyfriend that got her pregnant. Her ex-boyfriend (who is completely oblivious to me) thinks it is him tooÖ (her parents made her call him yesterday). And now she is pretty much going in that direction because I feel like at least, she doesnít want to say, ďWell it could be one of two peopleĒ but I really donít see how it isnít mine considering the biology of it all (I know itís a 38-42 week span).

I think some would tell me to be relieved, that I dodged a bullet and yes I do still like the girl but thatís not the reason this bothers me. What if there is a living being out there who is mine and I have this secret on my chest I canít let out? I seriously donít know what to do and the only person Iíve told about this is my best friend. I canít tell my parents or anyone else and I feel like Iím running in a circle blindfolded. If it is mine, I want to be part of this process and not find out 9 months later. Iím not doing a prenatal DNA test (amniocentesis) because I know that is dangerous but I donít know whether I should get a DNA test afterwards either. I want to tell her parents but I understand her thinking too but I see it as unfair in certain ways. Sheís scared that if it isnít mine and her ex-boyfriend knows that she slept with someone else then he will abandon her.

Iím confused and I apologize that I donít know how to sum this up any better. I never in my life thought I would be in a situation like this ever in my life.

Take care.





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