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[QUOTE=glamourgal]I went to see the Johnny Cash movie tonight and he really pursued June Carter until she finally agreed to marry him. I guess I am just a hopeless romantic because that is what I want---someone who cares about me enough to really pursue me. I guess it takes someone who really loves you to do that. Which he knew that she really cared about him too.

Do guys still even pursue girls these days? I was just wondering because the guys I have met lately seem to give up all too easily. I am slow to warm up to people, so I guess they would have to take the time to get to know me, in order for them to realize that.[/QUOTE]

Wasn't that a great movie??!! For years and years I've been fascinated with their love story. And when they both died not too long ago, how Johnny died just four months after June, that kind of can't live without you, not even death can separate us kind of love that inspires fairy tales, just amazes me. Of course, it would have been nice if he had officially ended his first marriage before he had pursued June so hard but.... :rolleyes: ;) He just knew she as the one, and just had to be with her. I'm not sure if men really love like that anymore, at least not in a way that isn't totally sick and scary!

I've had the same experiences. I don't know if they're all "just not that into me" or just wimpy, but I've met so many wimpy men in my life. When I had just broken up with my ex the first time, the UPS guy asked me out, and he did it in front of everyone in the office, so I was self conscious to say the least. I didn't want to say yes in front of everyone, so I gave him my phone number and told him I'd think about it and to call me. He never did and I asked him why, and he said "well, I figured if you had to think about it that hard, the answer was no." What a wimp!!! I would have gone out with him, I just didn't want the whole office knowing about it! Anyway, it seems the only guys who really pursue you are the guys who do it out of lack of inhibition and no sense of boundaries, rather than a devotion to us and a sense that we feel the same way deep down inside. *sigh* my kingdom for a sweet, love-lorn Lloyd Dobbler standing outside my bedroom window playing "In Your Eyes" from a boombox held over his head!
[QUOTE=Hiya]Wasn't that a great movie??!! For years and years I've been fascinated with their love story. And when they both died not too long ago, how Johnny died just four months after June, that kind of can't live without you, not even death can separate us kind of love that inspires fairy tales, just amazes me. Of course, it would have been nice if he had officially ended his first marriage before he had pursued June so hard but.... :rolleyes: ;) He just knew she as the one, and just had to be with her. I'm not sure if men really love like that anymore, at least not in a way that isn't totally sick and scary!

I've had the same experiences. I don't know if they're all "just not that into me" or just wimpy, but I've met so many wimpy men in my life. When I had just broken up with my ex the first time, the UPS guy asked me out, and he did it in front of everyone in the office, so I was self conscious to say the least. I didn't want to say yes in front of everyone, so I gave him my phone number and told him I'd think about it and to call me. He never did and I asked him why, and he said "well, I figured if you had to think about it that hard, the answer was no." What a wimp!!! I would have gone out with him, I just didn't want the whole office knowing about it! Anyway, it seems the only guys who really pursue you are the guys who do it out of lack of inhibition and no sense of boundaries, rather than a devotion to us and a sense that we feel the same way deep down inside. *sigh* my kingdom for a sweet, love-lorn Lloyd Dobbler standing outside my bedroom window playing "In Your Eyes" from a boombox held over his head![/QUOTE]
I know--it really was a great movie!! I am with you about wondering if that kind of love even exists now. I definitely agree with everything you said above.

If a guy was really interested in me, it seems like he wouldn't mind being friends first--so we could really get to know each other, but nowadays guys think you are not interested in them if you want to be friends first. I thought it was sweet how June and Johnny thought of each other as their best friend. I want that! Of course there has to be chemistry too, which I think the chemistry would get even stronger and relationships would last longer with a foundation of friendship.
[QUOTE=mada]but girls DON'T make it known... oh i know you think you do... but things like twirling your hair anti clockwise while pointing your toes in our direction while drinking your drink, and looking at our left ear, with the right eyebrow slightly arched does not tell a man if your interested or not for instance this latest interest of mine, she asks me out on one date, accepts a second from me, then is hesitant about a 3rd (but neither comments on whether she never wants to see me again, or if maybe the time didn't suit)... but calls up the next day (after the third was shot down), to chat "stuff"... now is that mixed messages, or am i, as a man too stupid to comprehend it.
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lol!! :D that is so true. and you can't forget the pupils dilating!! :D

[QUOTE=glamourgal]I agree Daphnee!

I know movies are just that...movies, not real life, but the guys in movies always seem to know how to pursue the girl without coming across as a weirdo. Examples are Tom Cruise in Top Gun, the guy in The Note_book (whom she ends up marrying), and many more.....[/QUOTE]
i know you'd like everything to be like this but GG, the fact is, those are movies and in real life, it just doesn't work that way. most of the time, the guys don't know when a woman is interested. you yourself had said time an time again that guys talk to you but you don't like the ones that do.

and to make it worse, there are times when they are NOT interested and do things to suggest that they are so what are men to make of this?? we can't read minds. sometimes its not that easy to tell if someone is playing hard to get or if they're interested but got caught off guard by your pursuit and subsequently displayed signals that they weren't interested. in the end, somebody has to initiate something.

take me for example. either i'm just disgusting to all women and NO ONE EVER has sent me signals or i just don't know how to read them. so, i approach several women and obviously i'm on these boards so that means it didnt' work. so then its reduced to trial and error and that gets tiresome. what would you do in my shoes???? :confused:

i know if i was in your shoes i'd just wait it out. since you're attractive someone that you also like will eventually "pursue" you...and you have to be ready for it (i.e. no grouchy face, nice big genuine smile, no standoffish attitude, etc..)..make it easy for the poor guy. :)





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