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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=opielonghorn]you're right, it isn't normal to go through life alone. we need human contact, but not necessarily romantic human contact. i agree that humans are social creatures. but there are plenty of other ways to get contact with people outside of a romantic relationship. you want it only one way, or no way.

and you're right also when you say that you can't force someone to want to be with you. but why would you even want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? if it is in fact true that you have absolutely no social network in your life, it's time to start figuring out why that might be. the lack of a romantic relationship should be the last thing on your list to tackle- because if you were to get into one now, that person would bear the burden of being your entire social scene. not many people want to take that on.[/QUOTE]

Well, I think it goes back to that "chicken and the egg" dilemma again because I think at a certain age, being in a couple helps your social life too. For example, I am invited to various parties fairly often, but most of the people there are already coupled, so I don't feel very comfortable going. Or sometimes I'm not invited BECAUSE I'm single. I could have gone on so many double dates, but my friends invite another couple instead of me because it's more fun to go out to dinner as two couples rather than as a couple with a single girl as the third wheel. Know what I'm saying? I know if I had a boyfriend now, my social life would only improve. It's always so much more fun when I'm in a relationship.

I'm sure it would be the same in Nini's case. All of a sudden, other married or coupled people from work etc. would crawl out of the woodworks and start inviting her to various couple events or even just to hang out at their house and socialize, and she could do the same. Let's face it, a lot of married women are not very comfortable inviting single women to their homes or out with their husbands because either they're a bit insecure, or they might think the single woman might feel left out. The fact is, it's hard to be single at Nini's age, when so many others are married. I can't blame her for wanting to be with someone. And romantic relationships cannot be replaced with anything because they're different in nature and fulfill different needs and desires.
[QUOTE=SophiaM]Well, I think it goes back to that "chicken and the egg" dilemma again because I think at a certain age, being in a couple helps your social life too. For example, I am invited to various parties fairly often, but most of the people there are already coupled, so I don't feel very comfortable going. Or sometimes I'm not invited BECAUSE I'm single. I could have gone on so many double dates, but my friends invite another couple instead of me because it's more fun to go out to dinner as two couples rather than as a couple with a single girl as the third wheel. Know what I'm saying? I know if I had a boyfriend now, my social life would only improve. It's always so much more fun when I'm in a relationship.

I'm sure it would be the same in Nini's case. All of a sudden, other married or coupled people from work etc. would crawl out of the woodworks and start inviting her to various couple events or even just to hang out at their house and socialize, and she could do the same. Let's face it, a lot of married women are not very comfortable inviting single women to their homes or out with their husbands because either they're a bit insecure, or they might think the single woman might feel left out. The fact is, it's hard to be single at Nini's age, when so many others are married. I can't blame her for wanting to be with someone. And romantic relationships cannot be replaced with anything because they're different in nature and fulfill different needs and desires.[/QUOTE]


I think there's truth to this as well. THrough my work I get all sorts of interesting little tid bits, surveys, information on relationships and related lifestyle subjects, and I read where a certain percentage of women are or have been jealous of a pretty co-worker of their husband's, and a certain percentage of men had chosen not to hire someone because she was too pretty and it would cause strife with the wife. Coupled up women just don't want to hang around single women. Though that's not the whole story with me, but it's just another obstacle, and probably why all the people I do socialize with are single, divorced, and most are a good 10-15 years younger than me.





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