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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=SophiaM]I'm sure you're right, Nini. But you have to admit the idea can also be scary. I wonder if it's scary when you meet "the right" person too...I was watching SATC last night, and when Aidan proposed to Carry, I felt petrified, for some reason! :eek: I wonder the same thing as she did, when you feel fear or hesitation, is it because it's not "right" or is it just a general fear of making a mistake? I admit I felt the fear and hesitation with my ex-fiance. I wonder, if it's the right guy, do you just "know"? I THINK I would not be afraid to marry my ex-bf, the one who moved to Europe, but maybe I'm only thinking this way because it's not very realistic? Hey, I think I might be commitmentphobic too, after all... Do you think people who are happilly in love don't feel that fear? Goody, what's your take on this? ;)[/QUOTE]


Goody, you are the best! And Degen, you are a very wise, funny, and talented dancer. And Sophia, you are my beautiful big sister who is always there for me with wonderful advice...aww, I just love you guys. I hope you love me back :eek: because I have written a novel for Nini, just couldn't help myself. But to start, Sophia, I am sure that your ex is not the one for you, because if he was, he would be by your side and having always tried to ne kind, patient, understanding, and forgiving to me. That's how a good man consistently treats his queen, like a goddess, and I probably know this better than anyone because I've pushed a number of sweet guys to the very limits of these admirable and (fortunately for me) :p In answer to your last question, I think it's complicated, because love and marriage don't always go hand in hand. For many people, I genuinely think the person they love most passionately can be the worst possible match for them. So in my view, it's not so much that you're not happily in love if you start getting cold feet, though that's certainly possible, but it seems more likely that you're realizing that it takes a great deal more than love to make for a lasting, happy marriage...I have to wonder how mncy of the 50% of spouses who stay together are truly happy, especially among the younger generation, because weddings are all the fuss right now and so trendy, people get married way too young, not too many kids grew up with parents in happy, healthy marriages, and it's much less common that women stay in passionless marriages out of financial necessity. It's definitely an interesting topic, but people are cheapening marriage today to such an extent, with Paris Hilton kind of people dating, getting engaged, then breaking up all within a few weeks or months. And financially it doesn't seem fair unless you get a prenup which is SOOO unromantic, almost as depressing as buying life insurance for yourself. I just don't see a reason to give some guy a chance to help himself to mine and my family's money.
[QUOTE=stacykgb20]Goody, you are the best! And Degen, you are a very wise, funny, and talented dancer. And Sophia, you are my beautiful big sister who is always there for me with wonderful advice...aww, I just love you guys. I hope you love me back :eek: because I have written a novel for Nini, just couldn't help myself. But to start, Sophia, I am sure that your ex is not the one for you, because if he was, he would be by your side and having always tried to ne kind, patient, understanding, and forgiving to me. That's how a good man consistently treats his queen, like a goddess, and I probably know this better than anyone because I've pushed a number of sweet guys to the very limits of these admirable and (fortunately for me) :p In answer to your last question, I think it's complicated, because love and marriage don't always go hand in hand. For many people, I genuinely think the person they love most passionately can be the worst possible match for them. So in my view, it's not so much that you're not happily in love if you start getting cold feet, though that's certainly possible, but it seems more likely that you're realizing that it takes a great deal more than love to make for a lasting, happy marriage...I have to wonder how mncy of the 50% of spouses who stay together are truly happy, especially among the younger generation, because weddings are all the fuss right now and so trendy, people get married way too young, not too many kids grew up with parents in happy, healthy marriages, and it's much less common that women stay in passionless marriages out of financial necessity. It's definitely an interesting topic, but people are cheapening marriage today to such an extent, with Paris Hilton kind of people dating, getting engaged, then breaking up all within a few weeks or months. And financially it doesn't seem fair unless you get a prenup which is SOOO unromantic, almost as depressing as buying life insurance for yourself. I just don't see a reason to give some guy a chance to help himself to mine and my family's money.[/QUOTE]

Arrrghh, I typed up a substantial post and it disappeared into cyberspace :eek: Anyway, we sure love you back, Stacy! :) And I agree with you that so many of these moronic, self-absorbed to the max celebrities are cheapening the meaning of relationships and marriage nowadays. As for the prenup issue, my most prized possessions include a few pairs of leather boots and a laptop (which I would defend ferociously! :D ), so if anyone was ever signing it in the event of an unforseen marriage, it would be me! LOL LOL





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