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[QUOTE=Hazel_Eyes]You cannot compare yourself to this girl. You are you and she is she. You may have been mature and well off at the age of sixteen, but guess what not every single sixteen year old follows the same path.

My mother was an escort when I was 15 years old. She still is. My mother worked at nights, drank a lot of alcohol and she even took drugs. To make matters worse, she was extremely abusive. She would explode over the smallest things. For instance, she would go ballistic when I forgot to water her plants or iron her jeans. She would call me horrible names... it was just devastating. This was a long time ago, but I remember it very well.

You want to know what's funny? Although she was mean and abusive... I cared for her so much. I wanted to help her and I always interpreted it as my fault. I never got mad at her - I got mad at me. I wanted to help her and I turned to my dad. All my siblings turned to my dad. My father disliked my mother and they eventually split up. Before we moved in with our dad, we used to beg him to come and help mom. It was heart breaking - My little brother was scared of my mom, but he didnt want to leave her. He would ring my father and say "Dad...please talk to mom. Lets be a family again"

Even though she was unstable, we wanted them back together so badly. For children, the idea of 'family' is important. No one wants a broken family. I was quite mature at fifteen myself - heck I raised my siblings!!! How many 15 year olds do you think do that? Not many I can tell you. Everytime one of them would ask if we were a broken family, my chest woud tighten. It was just really hard. You dont have anyone to turn to. No one can understand.

It took me a while to realize that we were all better of this way. I guess I didnt want my family separated. It broke my heart to hear my little brother ask me everynight if we would be a family again. Although we knew we were better off living with our dad and not staying with our mom, it still hurt. You have these mixed feelings of; Hope - maybe there is still a chance of them getting back together. Maybe mom will realize her mistakes and change for us. Maybe dad loves mom enough to make such a sacrifice. You even get feelings of sadness and jealousy - everyone else is one big happy family.. why was ours broken?

Think about it, who else can she turn to? Dont you think its natural for her to say these things to HER OWN FATHER? Maybe she is still going through phases of denial that its over between them - can you blame her?! She is worried about her mother... she probably thinks that if her parents got back together her mom would be under much better care.

She loves her mother and she is worried about her mother's well being. If your mother was in that situation...you're telling me you are not going to care? At the age of 17, I stopped worrying about my mom. I just realized that there is nothing I can do. She is a grown woman and I cannot change her. I love her dearly but I will not let her drag me into her world of misery. Ok, its taking this girl a while to figure that out - give her a break.

Was your mother a downing alcoholic on drugs in need of consolation too?

I seriously would not compare situations. You do not know what this girl is going through. You are not in her place. You are not the one living with the unstable mother - so you would not know what it would be like to be in her shoes now would you?

She can say what she wants to say to her father. That is HER FATHER. If what she says gets on your nerves, then dont read the emails! Im not trying to be mean, but I think you are being a bit harsh on this girl.

I dont really see a problem. The girl talks about her mother all the time only because she sleeps with drug addicts and is probably some raging alcoholic - she is bothered by her mother's lifestyle and she worries about her. That is quite normal you know. The girl -Im sure believes- that it would be better if her parents got back together that way her dad can take charge. She hopes that her dad will fix things or help her mom through this phase or ordeal - whatever you want to call it.

Seriously dont let it get to you. That girl's dad is your boyfriend. He is WITH YOU.. There was a reason why its over between the two of them. I don't think this girl is trying to ruin your relationship - I really do think she is just worried about her mom.

Anyways you have options... bare it or leave

G'luck[/QUOTE]

Oh no you are not harsh and you actually opened my eyes to the way abused children feel....
I am not making comparisons between me and her but only wondering why won't she talk to him about HERSELF:school, friends, holidays instead of talking about this pathetic woman all the time? What I know is that he left her 10 years ago, and I can understand that his daughter is worried about her mum BUT it's not like they were a perfect couple and things changed dramatically and devastatingly for her.
I think that people like her mum, except to her, are worthless and pathetic and not worth any one's time. If she cares about her much, the fine she should help her go to rehab. Her dad is not a charity worker, he's a DAD and a man who can chose to leave behind him any woman like her who adds nothing to his life except stress and misery! He will never accept to go back to this woman, even if we break up now.
This woman mistreated him and went mad when he decided to live with me--just blind jealousy. And she's actually using her daughter! How do I know that it's not her who encouraged her daughter to write what she writes?

I mean anyone here won't accept her boyfriend or fiancee ringing an ex like her to say happy birthday, why is it different because he has a daughter? Do women like her deserve better treatment than women who behave the same but have no kids????????





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