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i recently became friends with a new girl at work. we quickly became close spending our breaks together either going for a walk or we'd just sit and chat. she has a boyfriend of two years but from the beginning she was very flirty with me. of course i liked that and reciprocated.

i have never in my life been so close to a person. i told her things i have never told anyone else. she became my best friend. she is everything i'm looking for.

well i ended up falling in love with her. and one night at work i told her how i felt. she ended up breaking my heart but we agreed to remain friends. a few days later she asked if she could come over to my apartment. im into xbox and she said she wanted to learn how to play. so that saturday she did. i ended up giving her a massage on my bed and well we made out very heavily.
we became even closer after that. even at times messing around at work on breaks. another night she just showed up at my apartment after work and we again became very intimate.

she told me that if she wasnt with him she be with me. that i was alot of fun to be with and she loved being with me.

then she became aware that others at work noticed us and of rumors that we were a couple. she then told me that we couldnt do those things anymore and that she loved her boyfriend. once again breaking my heart.

i was very upset and confronted her about it saying how could she lead me on and tell me the things she did making me think that i had a chance with her. she played me. used me. told me she cared about me.
i had my chance to end it. to move on and forget her but i didnt. instead i did as she asked and remained her friend. it seemed important to her that we remain friends.

since then we dont hang out anymore outside work. she talks to her boyfriend on the phone at first and last break. the only time we talk is thru work email and dinner break. but when we do talk i cant bring up the past or how i feel or she gets mad. when i tell her that it might be best if we didnt spend time together she says its up to me. so now its like it doesnt matter to her if we remain friends.

so i told her last week that i didnt want our friendship to be limited to an email relationship. that if i really mattered to her she had a lot of time to talk to me either on the phone or during break or before or after work. i didnt think i was being unfair in asking for that. the way things are now its unfair to me. it has always been unfair to me.

well she basically told me 'what makes you think i have a lot of time'? she seemed very upset when i last saw her. so im guessing she wont make time for me and we wont email and so now i guess we will not talk anymore at all. i dont expect her to 'make' time for me and that makes me so mad and breaks my heart yet again.

id appreciate any advice and will answer questions....plz be nice as i am hurting so much.

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