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Relationship Health Message Board


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im new here, i dont know anybody but thanks in advance for listening to me whine.

anyway i just got dumped and im not feeling too good right now so thats why im posting. straight dumped on my *** with no communication, nothing. i just dont know what happened. im in kind of a strange situation, ive been constantly traveling for the last five years and i found myself in hawaii living on a farm doing a worktrade for room and board. i met this girl on the beach randomley just talking to the same people. when i met her for some reason i didnt think she was pretty right away and didnt have any intention of doing anything with her.

after talking to her for a while i got her situation down pretty quick. her family had just moved here from iowa and she had been here two weeks and hadnt made any friends yet and was kind of depressed and lonely. she seemed really cool so when she was leaving the beach to go meet her family at some hot springs she asked me if i wanted to go with her and i was just like sure, she seemed like a cool girl. at this point i still had no intentions of doing anything other than hanging out.

once we got to the ponds we started swimming around and she was getting really flirty and im a flirty guy so it was fun splashing around with her i was having a good time. and i guess it was about that time i realized how pretty she was. her family started getting ready to leave and she started sropping major hints that just going home was boring and she wanted something to do so after a bunch of hints i was just like well you can come back to the farm and hang out for a while.

the farm is a pretty fun place to be. theres about 15 people or so and every one hangs out and drinks and parties most nights so its a fun place to go if you dont know anyone and i figured she would make friends pretty quick so i was like sure, come over. it was starting to get dark and we realized that she wouldnt have any way of getting home since neither of us have a car. so then she started dropping major hints that she wanted to sleep over and i offered even though i dont really have a permanant spot there i was just like sure, we`ll figure something out.

so we went back to the farm and it was a pretty quiet night and she was always sitting next to me and leaning on me and then at one point she pulled her hair down. it had been in a bun and i thought she had shorter hair but she pulled it down to comb it and it was a complete transformation. she has waist length blond hair and she went from just another cute blond girl to just drop dead gorgeous. easily the most beautiful girl thats ever wanted to be with me. everyone went to sleep pretty early and we stayed up since in a was a clear night and the stars were bright and theres an outdoor hammock that fits two people in it pretty easy so we went and layed down in the hammock and counted shooting stars until we fell asleep. again at this point i still had no intention of doing anything with her. i wanted to since she is just hot as anything but i ive been a drunk for a long time and i dont really know how to go about things sober. anyway through the course of the night we slept closer and closer to each other and by morning we were cuddled up nice and tight, arms around each other, comfortable as could be. and i was just like wow, this amazing girl actually likes me.

now i have to pull out a little history about me to help you understand the story. ive been immersed in a tiny tiny subculture of riding freight trains and traveling around the mainland. living in squats, busking on the streets for money, eating out of dumpsters and drinking all day and all night every day. so you can probably guess from that that most "relationships" ive had were quite different. that was part of the reason im in hawaii is to quit drinking and chill out for a while. so i dont really know how to socialize sober and i know nothing about trying to have a girlfriend in a relationship that doesnt revolve around whiskey and sex. this girl was so easy to get along with and i got so comfortable with her so quick i figured maybe it would work.

so the next day we hung out all day, we had a full day with all kinds of fun stuff to do and she would just walk along and hold my hand like we`d been together for a year. i will say straight up that i`m 22 and had never held a girls hand in public until her.

so we`d been hanging out every day most of the time and she was making lots of friends at the farm and meeting a lot of girlfriends which is good cause every girl should have at least a few same sex friends. then after we`d been together for about 2 weeks she was going with the girls to a dance rehearsal for a show they were putting on and she wasnt going to be able to stay over that night so we made plans to meet the next day, i was going to go to her house and we were going to go food shopping at some place she was going to show me. so the next day i go over to her house and shes not there and none of her family knows where she went. so 2 days later she comes back to the house with about 8 people and it turns out they went from dance rehearsal and decided to take a trip to the other side of the island just for fun. this is where it gets bad.

i was all happy to see her and she didnt even speak to me. she just walked up with all her stuff and told me she was moving in to a room with one of the girls. and she was just suddenly ice cold to me. i tried to talk to her all night and she just blatantly ignored me. its now two days later and she still wont talk to me. so now im moving out since its really uncomfortable being around her. she just straight up dumped me with no explanation. now she has tons of friends there and is probably hooking up with half the farm, i dont really know.

i know it wasnt anyone she met on the trip since none of the girls knew anything, and i cant think of anything that i did, she had never complained about anything and we never got in a fight or anything like that. all i can tell is that i got used and dumped. and it hurts. im really not feeling too good right now. it was only a couple weeks but it was a good couple weeks and i just dont know what happened.

theres definitely no chance of us getting back together i just want some opinions of what happened since im so confused. heres what i think:

i think she was a lonely depressed girl when i met her and i was just the first guy she met and she latched herself on to me until she had friends and stuff to do and didnt need me anymore so she dumped me. i fell for her though, hard. and now its not too cool.

is that what happened? is that pretty common? especially with the lack of any communication?

if anyones got opinions of what else it might be i would love to know also.

thanks for reading all this, i know it was a lot.





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