It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hello all! Just looking for some opinions/advice from anyone that has ever been in this kind of situation.

The background is: I was interested in a guy "Brad", and tried to give him signals that I'd like to get to know him, but I didn't get any response from him. I assumed he wasn't interested so I moved on. I then met Larry. Larry and I have been dating for only a few months, but things moved quickly. We get along wonderfully, he makes me laugh...all the great things I've ever wanted. Problem is, Larry is not a very attractive man. He's shorter than me, very heavy, yet I can say he's attractive to me in his own way. His personality makes him more attractive to me. Things were going fine until........I found out that Brad was indeed interested but too shy to show it. It finally all came out and he and I have gone out a few times. I was honest with Brad and told him I was seeing someone else. We decided to just "be friends" (ha!). Brad is just adorable. People have said we look good together. He is probably one of the sweetest guys I have ever met in my life. He is pretty much the POLAR opposite of Larry. He's a little naive and certainly no where as experienced/mature as Larry. He's very laid-back and shy. I find it adorable, and I am so attracted to him physically.

Had Brad showed interest in me from the get-go, we would have dated and I'm sure things would have worked out great because he IS a really good guy. Even if I had met Larry somehow afterwards, I wouldn't have been attracted to him for it to interfere. But now that I've gotten to know Larry, I see that he is such a great guy and we have a good, solid relationship. He is ready to settle down (as am I) and I know we could have a good life together.

I guess I'm leaning more towards Larry, believe it or not. I think our personalities are better suited. We are equals. With Brad, I feel like more of the "leader".

I told Brad that I cannot "date" him and I am exclusive with Larry. He was sad because he hoped he would "win me over". It was VERY sweet and I was VERY the point where I wondered if I was making the right choice. The thing about Brad that is also very appealing is.....I am a very insecure person and so is Brad. He hasn't dated much. I would feel "safe" with him. I know he'd be honest and loyal.

Larry is honest and loyal as well, but he is a very confident man and has had a LOT of experience. In some ways, this is a good thing (he knows how to treat a woman). But in other ways, it fuels my insecurities (not HIS fault - totally my own mind). Larry understands my insecurites and has been very patient and wants to help in any way he can. He's good for me in many ways. I think with Larry, I could have a "healthy" relationship. Not saying I couldn't have a healthy relationship with Brad, though I dont' really "know" him, I don't get the feeling it would be up to the same level as Larry.

Well, I've rambled on enough. Just curious as to what everyone thinks and where I should go with this.

PS - "Dating" both is out of the question. I did that for a short period of time and it was much too stressful for me. Even though Larry and I have only been dating a few months, we act as though we are married. Both men would like a committed relationship. I want a committed relationship. Just not 100% sure on which one. :-)

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:30 AM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!