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well, it had been about a month since my g/f and i split up (she said she only wanted to be with me and we had a certain level of commitment there with all the lovey dovey i love you's, but she got asked out and decided out of the blue she should needed to look at dating others and not being with one person. i told her i couldn't just back off and just date her nor pretend we were now only friends. to make a long story short, i removed myself from the picture so she could go and do what she needed. so anyway...).

about 2 weeks ago she started calling every day, just to check in - all very casual.we kinda had a blow out and i told her that we aren't getting any where cuz there is too much stubborness and too much past. maybe some day we can talk.

about a week ago she sends me text message "i miss you and i don't know what to do about you". i took a little while before i responded. finally we talked. she told me how much she loved and missed me. we started IMing again, and again she said she loved and missed me and that i knew she wanted me but i scare her because i am the only one who makes her feel. she also said that she would like to start over but take things slow. so we agreed to go out for dinner and dancing.

well, talk about feeling like i got the cold shoulder and that i had to make the moves to be "close" and what i mean by close is, a little affection like putting my arm around her or holding hands. admittedly a lot of the time felt akward since we hadn't seen each other. when i wouldn't make any moves, she said "you can touch me or kiss me you know". however, she wasn't making any approaches towards me. at one point i told her "it be nice to be met half way instead of me feeling like i am in this alone right now". ya da ya da. so later we said good bye and went our different ways agreeing to take things slow, be open and honest with each other and not play games (oh and she says she hasn't been out with any one other than friends).

so on my way home i called and left a message saying again how great she looked, that i had a good time tho a bit awkward. course, i expected (silly me) to hear sumpin relatively soon from here. nope - wasn't until later the next day and it was short and sweet and very casual "i had a good time too, talk to you soon".

so i sent her email responding to that, telling her how nice things were, that i'm glad we took the opportunity to go out, blah blah blah. i however did EVIDENTALLY make the mistake of mentioning that i felt things were a little one sided and i left feeling a bit confused given her words of how much she still loves me, how i have her heart, misses me, etc, just a day before. needless to say i got hammered by her on that (none of the good stuff again mind you) with her saying "you didn't have to point out all that i did or didn't do and tell me how you felt about that - that's not being open and honest".

then i hear, "when you share your feelings, you need to say something like this 'i know things were a little akward but i still missed how close we use to be, maybe we can get that back some day". then i hear, "would you send that email to some one you have just met"? and "we are just getting to know each other - remember".

then i hear all kinds of other things to like "why can't you just let things be" and "i think you are disappointed because we didn't sleep together" and "you think to much" and "i think you don't have enough human interaction since you lost your job and all you do is sit at home on your puter talking to internet friends".

then i hear, "i have 3 feelings for you, i love you, i miss you, but you scare the scrap out of me". then pretty much the next thing i hear is, "ya know, i thought we were starting over but now i'm not so sure i want to, cuz this dance that we do is too crazy and too tiresome and i don't know why we do this... i really need to think about that - and that's where i am at with things with you right now - this craziness just is too tires some and wears me out".

huummm....guess i fell for it all again huh? am feeling she knew exactly what to say, how to say things, just to keep me in her little sticky web, but am also very confused about her response to my email which was never finger pointing by any means, then all the "quotes" above.

thoughts, opinions? can any one help me decipher this? thanks!

in the interim, merry christmas

p.s. by the way, my g/f and i are of the "alternative life style" meaning same sex - hope that doesn't matter here!
[QUOTE=akajessie]well, it had been about a month since my g/f and i split up (she said she only wanted to be with me and we had a certain level of commitment there with all the lovey dovey i love you's, but she got asked out and decided out of the blue she should needed to look at dating others and not being with one person. i told her i couldn't just back off and just date her nor pretend we were now only friends. to make a long story short, i removed myself from the picture so she could go and do what she needed. so anyway...).

about 2 weeks ago she started calling every day, just to check in - all very casual.we kinda had a blow out and i told her that we aren't getting any where cuz there is too much stubborness and too much past. maybe some day we can talk.

about a week ago she sends me text message "i miss you and i don't know what to do about you". i took a little while before i responded. finally we talked. she told me how much she loved and missed me. we started IMing again, and again she said she loved and missed me and that i knew she wanted me but i scare her because i am the only one who makes her feel. she also said that she would like to start over but take things slow. so we agreed to go out for dinner and dancing.

well, talk about feeling like i got the cold shoulder and that i had to make the moves to be "close" and what i mean by close is, a little affection like putting my arm around her or holding hands. admittedly a lot of the time felt akward since we hadn't seen each other. when i wouldn't make any moves, she said "you can touch me or kiss me you know". however, she wasn't making any approaches towards me. at one point i told her "it be nice to be met half way instead of me feeling like i am in this alone right now". ya da ya da. so later we said good bye and went our different ways agreeing to take things slow, be open and honest with each other and not play games (oh and she says she hasn't been out with any one other than friends).

so on my way home i called and left a message saying again how great she looked, that i had a good time tho a bit awkward. course, i expected (silly me) to hear sumpin relatively soon from here. nope - wasn't until later the next day and it was short and sweet and very casual "i had a good time too, talk to you soon".

so i sent her email responding to that, telling her how nice things were, that i'm glad we took the opportunity to go out, blah blah blah. i however did EVIDENTALLY make the mistake of mentioning that i felt things were a little one sided and i left feeling a bit confused given her words of how much she still loves me, how i have her heart, misses me, etc, just a day before. needless to say i got hammered by her on that (none of the good stuff again mind you) with her saying "you didn't have to point out all that i did or didn't do and tell me how you felt about that - that's not being open and honest".

then i hear, "when you share your feelings, you need to say something like this 'i know things were a little akward but i still missed how close we use to be, maybe we can get that back some day". then i hear, "would you send that email to some one you have just met"? and "we are just getting to know each other - remember".

then i hear all kinds of other things to like "why can't you just let things be" and "i think you are disappointed because we didn't sleep together" and "you think to much" and "i think you don't have enough human interaction since you lost your job and all you do is sit at home on your puter talking to internet friends".

then i hear, "i have 3 feelings for you, i love you, i miss you, but you scare the scrap out of me". then pretty much the next thing i hear is, "ya know, i thought we were starting over but now i'm not so sure i want to, cuz this dance that we do is too crazy and too tiresome and i don't know why we do this... i really need to think about that - and that's where i am at with things with you right now - this craziness just is too tires some and wears me out".

huummm....guess i fell for it all again huh? am feeling she knew exactly what to say, how to say things, just to keep me in her little sticky web, but am also very confused about her response to my email which was never finger pointing by any means, then all the "quotes" above.

thoughts, opinions? can any one help me decipher this? thanks!

in the interim, merry christmas

p.s. by the way, my g/f and i are of the "alternative life style" meaning same sex - hope that doesn't matter here![/QUOTE]

It sounds to me like she is unsure of you at this point. On the one hand, she wants to keep seeing you and is doing everything in her power to keep you on the hook, while at the same time she seems to be looking around for something better.

How long were you dating her before you broke up? This would provide a little more insight. What I would do if I were you is date other people yourself, but continue to see her. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve at this point. Just get to know her better.

People usually date around until they find someone they want to date exclusively.





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