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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Well that wasn't what I was really trying to ask, but the title was too long ;)

I'm 6'2" and weight about 180lbs; very lean and no fat. My girlfriend is 5'2" and weighs about the same as I do. She has a beautiful face and would have a gorgeous body if she could lose about 35lbs. Unfortunately, we grew up in two different types of families. I grew up learning how to exercise on a regular basis and love the feeling I get from working out. She, on the other hand, grew up in a family that never exercises at all. I try to do fun activities with her that can involve exercising (bike riding, lifting weights), but she seems to hate it.

I never tell her she's too fat or tell her what to eat. She eats at least as much as I do. But I don't want to be mean and tell her maybe she should try eating less. I want her to eat healthy and exercise because SHE wants to, not because of me. I know she wants to lose weight, but I don't think she has the determination right now... I keep telling her it wouldn't be that hard. Just one pound at a time... Just like when I workout and can only gain one pound of muscle at a time...

It is so frustrating to me, because I don't think losing the weight would be that difficult. Of course, I can't know for sure because I have never let myself put on excess fat. But sometimes I fantasize about switching bodies with her for 6 months and betting I could lose all of her weight and make her look like a fantastic model. Do any of you ever have this fantasy because of the frustration of trying to motivate the one you love?
This is a very sensitive area your getting into here. She wants to lose weight. There is no doubt about it. Most of us although we may be happy with who we are and our bodies, are our biggest critics. Problem being she needs to set that goal. Even friendly advice can seem like criticism or push. I'm not sure how the best way to go about motivating her would be other than her getting that motivation from other people who are in her situation. My boyfriend takes great care of his body. He looks fantastic. I never once got on that wagon with him. I had been with him for years and never participated at all. But I found something I liked to do...and I found a friend who I could do it with and that snow balled and now I am very careful about how I treat my body. Not to mention that I look so much better and feel better too. Seeing people around me who improved and made life changes help me a lot. I could suggest a support for your girlfriend from someone she can relate to, and doesn't feel intimidated by. If she can get started and see positive results she may keep up with it.

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