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[QUOTE=SomeRandomDude] I will say that Christmas was hell today. My dad and my stepmom had a gathering at their house and I was the only single adult there. My brother and his girl were there... my sister and her fiance were there... my step sister and her husband etc.

Was a real downer.[/QUOTE]

SRD, do you think it's possible that you were the only one even noticing that you were the one single adult present at xmas? i just went to my family's for the holiday, and my brother and i were the only ones there who hadn't brought a significant other. and my brother has a girlfriend, she just didn't join us. so for all intents and purposes, i was the only really single person there. and i'm 34. and a female! you want to talk about pressure... but here's the thing- i've lived long enough to realize that yeah, i was there on my own, but what was everyone else's story? well, my sister was in the process of taking a xanax when i walked in because she had just had a fight with her husband and told him he should get the ***** out. my aunt was there with her live-in boyfriend, who had been her neighbor before she left her husband of 32 years to run off with him. my other aunt was there with her second husband, who she married after leaving a very abusive and drunken first husband. and my parents? they were there in all there fighting glory. quite frankly, i felt comparatively normal.

you are very, very young. you have a long life ahead of you, one that you can either make incredible or not. it's your choice. decide what you want to do and do it. it sounds like you are lonely across the board, outside of the fact that you don't have a romantic relationship. do you have any kind of social network? that is where you need to start. friends make all the difference. they support you and introduce you to potential mates. a girlfriend is not going to change how you feel about yourself. if you meet someone tomorrow and she becomes your whole reason for having self-esteem, it will never work. she will feel too depended upon. being a shy person isn't a bad thing, but lacking any confidence at all can be severely detrimental. talk to us here and we will help you.
I'm sure I was the only one that noticed, didn't make it hurt any less though...

I am very young all things considered, but still a virgin.. and NOT young by virgin standards... the more years that pass, the less chance of someone mearly being accepting and understanding of my virginity. Sure I could make my life incredible, but it's not going to happen without therapy.. I'm not stable enough mentally to make it so and I can't afford therapy....

Social network? Umm no don't have one. I've got no social life whatsoever, I either work or sit on my computer... nothing more nothing less. Don't get out of the house and while I had friends at some point, they all got tired of me being antisocial and never wanting to do anything and nowadays, I don't even ever hear from any of them anymore.

Nope no social circle to say the very least. The few friends that I haven't alienated, have offered to introduce me to people... but I refuse.

It may just be the sheer depth of how badly I fear about myself, but having to get help screams to me of depseration. I know it makes little to no sense, but I would rather be lonely and miserable until the day I die, as opposed to having to seek help.... my few remaning friends don't need help and I don't want to feel inferior, or less worthy than them and again fair to myself or not, I would automatically feel that way by needing help.

For what it's worth I'm attending the weddings... I know how much it will mean to my siblings. I'm still insanely jealous though, it's one thing for my older sister, but my younger brother? He's already found what's neglected me my whole freaking life. That just makes me feel even less hopeful about it ever happening at this point.

It comes down to this.... some people can be happy being single... hell I'm sure there are even those that aren't nuns.. priests etc that can be happy being celebrate... I'm not one of them.......



[QUOTE=opielonghorn]SRD, do you think it's possible that you were the only one even noticing that you were the one single adult present at xmas? i just went to my family's for the holiday, and my brother and i were the only ones there who hadn't brought a significant other. and my brother has a girlfriend, she just didn't join us. so for all intents and purposes, i was the only really single person there. and i'm 34. and a female! you want to talk about pressure... but here's the thing- i've lived long enough to realize that yeah, i was there on my own, but what was everyone else's story? well, my sister was in the process of taking a xanax when i walked in because she had just had a fight with her husband and told him he should get the ***** out. my aunt was there with her live-in boyfriend, who had been her neighbor before she left her husband of 32 years to run off with him. my other aunt was there with her second husband, who she married after leaving a very abusive and drunken first husband. and my parents? they were there in all there fighting glory. quite frankly, i felt comparatively normal.

you are very, very young. you have a long life ahead of you, one that you can either make incredible or not. it's your choice. decide what you want to do and do it. it sounds like you are lonely across the board, outside of the fact that you don't have a romantic relationship. do you have any kind of social network? that is where you need to start. friends make all the difference. they support you and introduce you to potential mates. a girlfriend is not going to change how you feel about yourself. if you meet someone tomorrow and she becomes your whole reason for having self-esteem, it will never work. she will feel too depended upon. being a shy person isn't a bad thing, but lacking any confidence at all can be severely detrimental. talk to us here and we will help you.[/QUOTE]





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