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Please understand Citron... I have been the target of a very insecure person. I spent years trying to prove that I was worthy and could be trusted. It was so hurtful because I gave up so much and had to compromise so much to try to get them to see that I was a good and totally devoted person.This person had nothing to base their fears on - not a single thing. I tried to help them and see that they were being silly. I pushed for marriage to try and calm those fears. But it was all in vain. He too tried not to show his insecurities... but when you are looking from the outside, no matter how hard an insecure person tries to hide it, everyone of their actions and words is like a flashing red 'insecure' sign. In the end, I gave him everything, and it was a waste of my time because he couldn't get over his own issues. And it hurt like hell because I wasted my time trying to prove that I loved him. He just couldn't accept that.

You do seem to love this girl very much, and I would hate to see it fall apart. I think it's good that you have come here for advice, but please at least consider some of the other opinions. Look at it from her point of view. Why should she suffer and have to prove something to you, when she has done nothing wrong?

Please believe me... there is nothing worse than loving someone, but not having them believe you and have to keep proving something and defend yourself all the time. It's actually alot more hurtful than most people will ever know... to think that the one you love has no faith in you, or doesn't believe you are a good person.
Citron, you seem like a very normal, caring person.

I completely understand where you are coming from... I think, by nature, humans have a tendancy to be somewhat jealous. The fact that you DON'T bring up things that you know are your own insecurities says something... I think that trait is admirable.

I, personally, don't keep pictures of ex's either. Not because it's "cold" to throw them out... but we live in the digital age baby, and I just delete them off my camera! Hahaha. Actually, I have thrown away pictures of old girlfriends, just because of something you said... I don't need a photograph to remind me of the good times. Anything worth remembering, is something that's stored in one of the boxes stored in the back part of my brain. You know, that part of the brain you consult on those days you want to remember those schoolday flings, that walk in the park, that icecream cone that melted before you were finished eating it and fell on your sock (you happened to be the one wearing sandals....with socks, yes... I know, major No-no).

You're getting bashed unfairly here, and I just wanted to say (even my therapist agrees.. but Im not quite sure hes an expert, since I bring in coupons to get it at a discounted rate *kidding*) it's a very normal thing not to want to think about your girlfriend with an ex boyfriend. The past is what it is, and you can't change that... and you know that! But... see, the brain doesn't always do what we know it should! It isn't abnormal at all, in fact, I'd say it's quite normal response.

No one is perfect.

You are proactive in your search for help, don't do things that will harm the relationship, and don't bring up things that you know won't help but only hurt the relationship (those things that you are working on yourself and within yourself).

Good luck with everything, sir.





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