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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


You're absolutely right Sophia. As long as the fundamentals are there as you mentioned and you have good communication and trust and can work together, then really the smaller issues should be able to be worked out along with the bigger ones that life inevitably brings.

It's hard to set a time line though. Especially when your partner is saying "of course it's gonna happen soon". I mean you love them, so you want to hang in there right? For them to be ready and to know that he's doing it because he WANTS to, not because he feels he HAS to. That's why many women, including myself, have been sucked into waiting a long time. My sister waited 7 years, then another 6 until they got married... and they are happy as larry. She was really impatient alot of that time, but in the end, it paid off for her to wait. He was just a bit against marriage because all of his brothers were not married etc, but he loved her. And then one day he decided that he wanted to get married... just like that.

I also had a good male friend who was very marriage phobic. When I used to complain, he just reminded me how ridiculous it would be to leave the person I really love and go be with someone else just so that I could be married. While it's not as simple as that, he did have a point. After a few years waiting for the poor girl who was older than him as well, he's now happily married too.

But where to draw the line? You don't want to give an ultimatum or tell them you have a secret 'deadline'. I guess the only thing you can do is tell them how important it is to you, and hope that it will happen. But in your own mind you will know if you are only getting excuses after a certain time.

What would I know anyways... I'm still waiting!!! :D Although it came very close until he lost his job recently... we were looking at rings etc. It was soooo within my grasp!!!





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