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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

[QUOTE=Destea]I want kids. I want kids in a marriage. I want to be a young mother. He has no illusions about this, and we've discussed it many times. But... being as he is, he does need to disect every little thing and over-think every situation. This is good and bad for me - great because when he does decide (either way), I know he'll have put a lot of thought into it. Bad because... you can't live life thinking about what ifs constantly. At some point you need to act or get lost in your worries.

You know, I admire you for having a good head on your shoulders and knowing what you want and having the courage to insist on it. One of my cousins dated a woman for over ten years, including living together with her, before he finally married her. The thing is, she was 30 when they met, and over 40 when they got married. Turned out it was too late to have kids. Now she's in her 40s, I believe 43 or 44 and they decided to adopt a child from South America. I mean, it's nice to help a little orphaned child and all, but HOW STUPID was it to wait so many years, when he could have married her when she was, say 32 or 33 and they could have their own children??? I just don't get how unrealistic people are these days. They are just not remotely in touch with reality and their own limitations. They think they're invincible and can stay forever young, I guess :confused: Women have children later and later in life, a lot of time not by choice, and it's a fact that with increased maternal age, the possibility of all kinds of complications and birth defects increases a lot. Hence we have higher than ever incidence of children born with Down syndrome, for example. And most of these pregnancies are terminated once the woman finds out that there is a genetic mutations, so imagine if all of them were actually carried to full term. There would be tons of children with Down syndrome and other birth defects born each year. It's just so unfair that these poor kids have to pay the price for their parents delaying having them till the last possible moment. My other cousin is 40 and just now pregnant with her first baby. She wanted to have a baby much earlier in life, but the men she dated were not interested in a family. Finally, after dating the current guy for over five years, he at least agreed to get her pregnant. She is a stunning woman and has two master's degrees and a good job. It's so confusing the kind of world we are living in now.

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