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[QUOTE=Nina000]Thank you everyone for your input. It's true that I dwelt on the negatives here but he also was very supportive, loving and special in many other ways.

Well, I live with him and I have to deal with these issues whether we get married or not. I am not at this point when I want to completely break it off. I want to help him. He already promised sorting out few issues. I am from East Europe and if we don't get married, I will have to leave back home in a year, after I finish my studies, and I can't come to England easily to see him. I feel that I am giving him up once and for all then. It is a very difficult situation, having lived in England for more than 4 years` now, and got very used to him. He's my first live-in bf. I found a lot of happiness with him after suffering for months with an ex (he was the one I would call Alcoholic) and I am very dependent on him emotionally now. We had our arguments, but I want this relationship to work out so bad.[/QUOTE]

Hey Nina! :wave: Well, if it would interfere with you coming back easily, I would say don't move back to Eastern Europe. I love Eastern and Central Europe,--my family is from there, but it's still not the best place to be, economically. The people there are wonderful--very friendly and hospitable--I have many friends from Eastern, Central, and Western Europe. But if you move back, you might never be able to live in England again. Nobody will gurantee you an easy life there, unless you marry a wealthy man. Nobody here will understand it because they don't know. In Western Europe, it's easier to be ok financially, even if you're single. You will have a PhD soon. You are obviously a smart, educated woman with lots of opportunities. Is your country a EU member? If not, I think you should marry your boyfriend. I know it will sound too "calculated," but you love this man and you've spent a few good years of your life with him. You deserve a right to stay in England, and England should be lucky to have a wonderful, highly educated woman like you! If anything, you deserve to be a citizen there. Don't be foolish and lose that opportunity. My ex-fiancee's ex was Italian. She lived with him for over four years, as did I. Unfortunately, she didn't have any legal rights to stay in the U.S. Guess what, after all that time, he dumped her. Never married her. She had to go back to Italy, to her screwed up family, and start over from scratch! She had to go back to her parents and sleep on their couch as a 30--year-old woman! As much as I didn't like her because she was still trying to "steal" him from me for almost a year, I can completely understand her. You know what the smartest thing to do is. :angel:





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