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Relationship Health Message Board

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This sounds like a very complicated matter. Definitely don't rush into it. It is half your life to, if you get married, and so you have to make sure that you can also be happy. I agree with other people, you always have to deal with the exes. That is just how it is. What sucks for me is that I have to deal with the wife of my ex. Anyway, if this was my situation I wouldn't get married now. I would wait until I was living on my own away from him for a little while. It seems that you have been too close for a long time. Here is a word of info that I got before I got married: "When you get married, everything changes." How true that statement is! I didn't believe it when I was living with my boyfriend, and then we got married, and it is completely different. His debts are mine now, his attitude has relaxed around me, which means that things are worse now that we are married. Don't jump into this. For your own mental and emotional safety, you need to speak with your fiance seriously about what you are feeling. And be honest. If you can't be honest about your feelings and desires and fears NOW, then you aren't going to be able to after you are married and you will be MISERABLE! one major thing I have learned is that communication is a huge key to a successful relationship. And also if I were you, I would ask that he cut down his drinking. If he loves you, and he isn't an alcoholic, he will do it gladly. Good luck, I hope things go well for you both.

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