It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


StormGirl, your situation sounds WAY too similar to mine. I have the thread 'Can you just fall out of love like this?' that you actually may have posted on already, theres a lot of responses.
Anyway, as of yesterday I officially cut off my ex completely. Its really hard, but he is in his first year of dental school and just cant handle it. I feel like he has had too much of a life change to know how to deal correctly and his relationship was the next biggest thing in his life, and it was starting to become strained (for a month) and he just felt it was better to drop it than try to fix it (due to school stress, time constraints, etc).
At least, that is how I see things. I did exactly what you said you did, whereas I called him a few times, and there were a couple IM conversations in which I tried to start out just talking normally, chatting, etc., and I ended up railing on him and asking him 5,000 questions. The key thing is that I was usually the one to contact him. It hurts. It did make things worse too, especially because he kept asking me if I hated him and it was just unproductive. None of the answers to my questions were what I wanted to hear, and nothing I could say would bring him back, I learned. He hurt me more than anything Ive ever known. He pushed me away totally for a month (wouldnt even agree to see me ONCE a week when I was reaching my limits trying to compromise to help him- he said he had to study and couldnt even find one night a week). He ignored me in front of his friends and ignored me when i was crying, then the dreaded "I need space" excuse came up and he just didnt call me for days. After going for a year and 8 months STRAIGHT talking daily to each other multiple times, I felt like I was going to die. It was so agonizing not knowing what was going on in his head. Yes, we had been arguing for that month here and there becaues I was resentful that he couldnt give me his time/affection/love/attention, etc., and seemingly didn't WANT to or didnt care. We rarely saw each other all month. It was horrible. And the month before was like a honeymoon- we were together all the time and were so intense, and so it was such a drastic change. We were planning to get engaged within the next year or two, and we talked of marriage and kids and we were just really in love. Yet, our problems were ONLY in that one month! We were so intense and so strong and amazing, in my opinion, and he had always agreed. I even have text messages a few weeks before he broke up with me saying things like 'studying hard but thinking about you'. Its really wierd. Its like, he snapped, but he hasnt recovered- the change in him seems permanent. And you'd think he would flip out and then realize he messed up, but its like he is really believing that this is best, and it hurts.
Anyway, this break-up happened a month and a half ago, and Im still having a pretty hard time, but I let him go. I couldnt keep talking to him and crying. It made me feel worse. I dont think I will ever understand, and I dont know where his feelings went. He said he does not feel in love with me anymore and he feels confused and somewhat 'mental'. I dont know.
I do hope he comes back- not because I would automatically, or ever, take him back, but just becaues at least it would prove that he still really did love me. It would give the whole last year and 8 months the justice that it deserves, because breaking up with someone 'without giving it much thought' (yes, I quote him) makes our whole relationship look less than it really was. I always thought that if we ended, it would be long, drawn out, and require a long and hard decision. It wasn't like that at all- quite the opposite. Its really hard.
Well, I'm glad you two are working it out and that he came back, and quickly. I dont think mine will, at least for a while (years). He is totally convinced that he can't give me what I need while in dental school because his 2nd year apparently is harder and then he has to take the boards. So, for the next year and a half he says he wants to be alone to manage his school life. And that is almost as long as our relationship, so he thinks that it is too long to be together in a strained way. Sigh. I dont get how you can treat someone the way he did and just STOP something that was so important as suddenly as he did, and as disrespectfully. I'll stop babbling now, I could go on and on. I just relate to your post and I hope that my situation turns out like yours- I still think he was the love of my life.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:08 PM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!