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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I went through a really tough breakup with a guy I'd lived with for about three years back when my name was Snails, in case you're curious. I had a couple other serious relationships before that, but this was the first one that wasn't completely my decision to terminate. It was for the best, but I was nonetheless pretty heartbroken for almost a year. The best remedy for me was to keep busy with friends and also to start dating again. I met some guys online, but then about a year after my breakup with the 3 year bf, who I had met in college, I started talking again with a friend from high school whose parents had always been close friends of mine. Actually, his parents went to the same college as me, which makes us automatically close, and his dad had helped defend me in a minor battle with my high school administrators without having anything to gain from it, so I was a huge fan of his family as well as him. In fact, I admire him more than anyone else I know for his patience, precision, genius, determination, and sweetness. I've always respected both of his parents, and my new best friend/bf, much more than I respect almost anyone else. So anyway, by the beginning of the summer, I was finally starting to feel like I was totally over the breakup and that it was for the best that we split--what an amazingly liberating feeling! Especially because it seems like it will never come, then it sneaks in when you least expect it. Kind of like love, I guess. I asked my hs friend's mom how I could reach him, and from the first time I saw him against, I went straight into his arms and was treated with a gentle respect and reverence I had never experienced before, even with all the sweet and kind guys I'd been lucky enough to date. I couldn't possibly be happier with a guy than I am with my good old friend, but I had to go through the painful torment of losing someone I thought was my soulmate before I learned what real, stable, lasting happiness was all about. Anyway, hang in there! Never settle for less, because there is always someone else you can love if only you refuse to give into anything less than what you're looking for from a man.

Anyway, at the beginning of the summer, I went from being a good friend to asking my high school buddy's parents for his email, and the first time I saw him, I remembered why I had such a crazy crush on him in high school, not to mention how much he'd loved me all along. Since then we've grown pretty inseparable, and I feel like it's the most liberating, satisfying, and exhilarating relationship I've ever had. I can know that he loves me for me, because he's loved me and wanted me for a decade, and because every little move he makes shows that he is primarily thinking of my happiness and comfort. When I was with my ex, before my heart broke over him, I couldn't possibly conceive that any other man could ever make me happy, but now I can barely remember that feeling and realize how many flaws our relationship had in comparison to my arrangement with my new guy, who has been one of my very best friends since before I could drive. Believe me, love always finds you just when you least expect it! Try to enjoy life and not force it, and you'll be happier than ever before you know it...I can just tell! Good luck :)





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