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Relationship Health Message Board

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Well , i don't really know how much help i can be b/c my boyfriend (who I see as the love of my life) just broke up with me a little over two weeks ago. If I were you i know I would be upset and angry too as it is only natural. We were together over 3 years and also talked of marriage and children and just of a wonderful life together. His reasoning was also simliar in that he said he needed time and space to figure things out and figure out if we wanted to be together, well I know I want to be with him, so it's pretty much just him. He also said there was no one else and did not plan on there being anyone else for a while. I am exactly how you were, still having the hope he will realize his mistake and come back to me. (I am only 20 and in college, too)

I think that at this point he may THINK she's something special, but as you said it's too early to tell, so i would say that even though he may be trying to convince himself she is something special, what it boils down to is infatuation. Infatuation is not love. Looks like it, feels like it, but it isn't love. Love is when you look at someone and say "I know all their faults and even if they never change a thing - I love them enough to stay." A person who's infatuated isn't qualified to make that statement. Not that it stops them or stops them from believing it. It's just good for you to know. Ifeel that sometimes your SO finding a new "love" can be what puts your relationship back together because eventually infatuation turns into disillusionment and they wonder what they saw in the new one in the first place. If at the same time they see you're not chasing them they can far more easily find themselves thinking "Why the new one isn't as good as the other one, am I being an idiot here or what?"

Finally, i don't really know why he would send you this message, the only thing i can think of is that he still cares about you and didn't want you to find out from someone else, because I think that would hurt more to think that he was "sneaking around" or did not have the [email protected]!!$ to tell you himself. I would not rue out the conclusion that he is trying to make you jealous, b/c maybe he is cause he wants you back but doesn't know how to go about it (not to give you any false hope, just writing what I'm thinking.).

Oh, and one last thing you say you cannot get the image of him with someone else out of your head, so, stop thinking about things that hurt, I knwo its hard, but try not to think about him with someone else. Just think about things you love and how great you are!

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