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I am majorly confused!!! I have a big problem with him telling his ex-girlfriend that he loves her. And I say this from personal experience.

When Mark (my now-husband) and I first started dating, he had been broke up with his ex for about 6 months. He was still very much in love with her. Long story short, she left him and moved five states away. One day out of nowhere, he stood me up on a date. For the next week, he never even called me to apologize or let me know what happened. Naturally, I knew it was over and just waited.

A week goes by, and I couldn't take it anymore. I called him up and asked what happened. He told me that his ex called him up to see how he was doing and he realized that he still loved her and wasn't ready to date someone else. We decided to stay friends and two weeks later, we were back together.

A couple of months go by and she calls him up again. I wasn't there and this time, he told me about it and didn't break up with me. He said that she was coming back to California and wanted to get some of her stuff from him. I came right out and asked him what his feelings about his ex were, becasue I was not going to sit around by his side until she came and got her stuff, if he was going to break up with me again.

He told me that he loved her still but that he now loved me too. He even asked me if I wanted to go with him to drop off her stuff. I asked him if he would want to go with me if it were vice versa and he said "No, becasue I may kiss or hug my ex". I just gave him a look and he understood what I meant. Time went by and his ex never contacted him. We had been living together for several months, when his ex called his mom to contact Mark. Mark lied to me about the call he received from his mom. I could hear the change in his voice when he was talking to his mom, and I knew it had to do with HER. I asked him what his mom wanted and he told me "nothing". That was the first time he was quiet about something. It confirmed what I thought.

Guys always think women are stupid and have no idea what is going on. I gave Mark a really hard time about lying to me. Needless to say, he never gave her her stuff back. He gave it to his mom - to do what she wanted with it. He came to the conclusion that their relationship hadn't worked out and if she really wanted her stuff, she would have taken it with her.

I admit, I am a jealous person. I try not to be but it just doesn't work. I don't know how you stood by and allowed him to say he loved her. That would be a huge red flag to me, and I think you need to talk to him about it and about his feelings for his ex. If they are that good of friends, then perhaps, you will never feel comfortable with your relationship. To be on good terms is great, but to call each other up and declare that you love them is just wrong to me, whether it was right in front of you or behind your back. Imagine what is said when you are not in the room/house. Be leery, he is still harvesting some strong feelings for her, because the I LOVE You's should have stopped when they stopped seeing each other.

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