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Relationship Health Message Board

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Being a woman, I can say "Yes looks do matter - to a point". Just as with men, there has to be "something" attractive about a person to draw someone else in. But it can be something as small as their eyes, smile, hair or laugh. Personally, I believe that everyone has at least one good feature, some people, you just have to look a little closer to see it. :) I don't think that anyone is ugly!!! We all have our own unique look and that in itself is special. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't date someone that I'm not attracted to. But then again, I wouldn't date someone totally gorgeous that I wasn't attracted to either. Women please don't take this wrong - but I would never date Brad Pitt. Yes he is handsome, but he's not my type.

Unfortunately, we all get rejected. I have always been told that I am very pretty, although I am a little overweight and have low self esteeme at times. I have had my share of rude comments as well. One guy said I was too fat (not to my face but through a friend), another one said he liked me alot but that I wasn't the right race.

Personally, I have always been attracted to men of different nationality (I'm white). I don't have a set preference on looks, I have liked very skinny men, and hefty men. I don't usually like men with shaved heads, but think Vin Diesal is very attractive with his. I also don't like facial hair, but think that some men look very sexy with it. I'm 25, and usually like older men, but I have dated younger men than myself. My point is, we all have a preference of what we like. But if we are so shallow as to only date that preference, then it's not saying much for us as a person.

So here's the lowdown. I met Mark when I was 18. He approached me and I told him no. I'll admit it, he wasn't my type. He was white and I thought he was really arrogant. Basically I wasn't attracted to him and just couldn't see us together. He was 4 years older than me, and we didn't have much in common. But I got to know him and almost seven years later, we're married. At times, it is still a challenge becasue physically, I'm still not really attracted to him. But I love everything about him as a person. We also still have nothing in common (movies, music, morals, etc). But I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. He's my soul mate.

Truth is, there is someone very special out there for everyone. You just have to look to find them. Your friend will not be single forever...though it may seem like it right now. My 17 year old brother is going through the same thing...his friends can all get girlfriends but no one seems to like him. I tell him to be patient because when he does become involved with someone, it will be so much more meaningful than his friends' constant relationships. Tell your friend not to hit the club scene, as a lot of shallow men and women can be found there. There are a lot of better places to meet someone. Also tell him to be friendly, polite and confident (hard sometimes, I know), but women are drawn to it. Tell him to watch women closely, but not stalker closely. A lot of women will eye a guy, and he might just not be picking up on it. Or maybe his standards are too high, like my brother's (he picks really popular girls). There can be a number of reasons why it seems no one is interested in your friend, but chances are, someone's looked his way. Tell him good luck and no prostitutes! A lot of women look down on that even after they enter a relationship with a guy. :)

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