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I also feel that if I were to have a baby I'd want to be married actually. Marriage isn't an issue with us - he's already said he'd want to get married one day. We've both said neither of us would want a big ceremony, just a low-key affair. We've even spoken about whether we could see living together 1st as an option, and if the topic of children weren't an issue we'd look to do this a few years down the line before moving onto marriage. But none of this is realistic without knowing if we have the same goals in our relationship.
I'd like to think that he might change his mind one day, in maybe 5 or more years time, but I can't rely on that. And he's adamant in his mind that he won't. I think he'd make a great dad, as he's great with his nieces and nephews, but he says it's not something he sees himself doing, and that he's too selfish to give up everything for a child.

I feel heartened that others have been in a similar situation, and one of the partners has changed their minds after a number of years. But I can't rely on that, can I?

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