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Any ideas?
Jan 8, 2006
So there I was this time last year beating around the bush about whether i want to go out with a girl i was scoring(kissing and hooking up with - Not sex) and i decided best for me not to bother....

Then this year around, i have been scoring a new girl i know for a couple of months and she doesn't want to lead me on to a relationship, last night in the night club i told her knowing her was a waste of a month and half of my life and she may as well go score one of my friends cos she said that...the result: She ran off crying and i stood there looking like an idiot knowing i made a mistake, but what do you expect? A girl just told me she basically doesn't want a relationship with me, i have never had this before and it's new i guess. Something i care about is falling through my fingers. With a combination of and a few deep conversations with friends, i have decided the following;

Meeting up with her in like the next hour to sort out my future with this girl asap. Ya know what they say? A problem or something that turns into a problem, you sort it out and get over it. I am trying to do that tonight. I actually was conditioning myself to go out with this girl the past month and a half cos that is what I perceived she wanted...and i was afraid to kiss her in the beginning in case it would lead to relationship but as i said, i conditioned myself to be relationship material and i didn't kiss any other girl the times i was seeing her, and i don't know what it is but there were a lot of offers the past two months...Ironic huh!?

I recently was told by her best mate in extreme confidentiality that she has a tendancy to go out with guys who she can control and her mate told me that I am too confident basically to control. So basically, the girl i am scoring has an insecurity about relationships. My goal tonight: Persuade her, sweet talk her, be utterly honest with her and my feeling towards her. I like her. I am going to let her know. I am going to try my best to let her know that I will not hurt her cos i think she is a great girl. Then again, this could all be an illusion on my part and i'm believing something which isn't existing but whatever, they are my feelings rights now and I have to tell her.

Either way, this is not a very nice situation i am in but **** it, i got myself in it and i will let her know what she may or may not be missing...

[B]After The Meet Up[/B]

Ok well I'm back. I learned a lot more about her. Basically every relationship she has been in, she has landed in it head on without thinking....she would kiss a guy 5 or 6 times and she....tends to end up in a relationship without actually thinking it through. She prefers to be in control which she admitted was her own problem. She also admitted that she has a huge fear of being hurt so she tends to have a bit more power over the guy. The reason she is like this is because her best friend was in a relationship and the guy cheated on her repeatedly and her best friend could not see through him and was still in love with him. So now she has a huge fear of being that powerless towards a guy. So i basically said my part and told her that i liked her and was preparing myself for a relationship with her but now that i know what i know about her, i'm a lot happier with that. I mean, i told her that i never knew her that well anyway to begin with(a month and a half ain't long folks) and i just wanted to get to know you and would have preferred to instead of scoring you, i would have preferred either a) We become friends b) Just score and see what happens or c) Realise we can't be friends. But what is done is done. I told her that I will not look towards this as an end of something...but rather as a beginning of something and just take it(whatever it is i have no idea) as it comes. So that is it really...i dunno what the future holds. I suppose i understand better now. Talking really helps. But do i still like her? Yeah...but what can i do now? it is out of my hands...or is it? What do u guys think? We left each other then saying have a good week in college and tlk to u l8r.

Pride was at the door...i just had to tell her. I told her that exactly what you said about how she may be holding herself back by looking at friends relationship and she said she knows and that it is an insecurity thing. From what i can gather we are basically starting off from scratch and getting to know each other minus the complications of "do i kiss her now or later or what?". She told me that she lost friendships with the ex boyfriends cos of the way she nosedived into situations and she regretted it cos they were nice guys...i'm grateful i'm not one of those guys. At least i have a chance. She knows my stance and i told her that the past situations this month which arose where i could have kissed someone else and didn't, i told her that it is because i liked her more. Ok...i may be giving her too much so the chase kind of dissapears cos she knows i like her...but whatever. I don't want to play games and i am glad she knows. The ball is in our court...let's see what the future holds...

Oh by the way, I forgot to mention, she broke up with her boyfriend in November just and just two weeks later....she kind of met maybe she also needs space or something. I only found this out tonight.

What should i do? just play it by year...? I still do like this girl a lot...but i will make sure i do not smother her. I'm not the clingy type anyway

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