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this is a hard one,i actually didnt see the previous post you mentioned but how long were seeing her?

its hard to foregt such a significant period you shared with another perosn and put it out of your head like it never happened...i know some people can do this but not me! and not you either by the sounds of it but its not necesarially a bad thing, it shows your capability of really caring for someone and opening your heart to them....even though sometimes it does get broken but there is very little we can do about that..as the saying goes ' it is better to have loved, and lost then to never have loved at all'

I dont know the background of this situation, who broke up with you or who hurt who etc but from what you have said in your post i can definatley tell you that if you dont want to get back together with this girl or there is no chance or reconcilliation then i urge you not to contact her as in my experience you will only end up hurting your self more.

There is no cure for a broken heart..only time but what i can suggest is to go out and have fun,meet new people,enjoy life...no matter how much you feel as though that is the absloute last thing you want to do. It will help you to remember that there is life after the ex..and that there is fun out there and happiness and the possibility of love and new friendship.

Just to clarify i have felt like what you are probably feeling now and its so hard because one day you feel fine and are getting on with life then next thing,...BAM out of no where all the old feelings and memorys come back and its quite over whelming really but after talking to a friend i got the advice which i stated above and decided instead of trying to block all the memories out of my head, i would remember them in a way that i was almost lucky to have experienced that happiness and try to be greatfull for that and go out and enjoy myself.

i dont know if that even makes sense but its the only way i can explain it!
hope i helped but i realise that everyone has there own way of dealing with things so i hope that what i said may be able to help you feel better..if not i sincerely hope that you will be feeling better soon.... :wave:

Aalyisha x
i know it's really hard and a lot easier said than done to get over someone. i still have moments of remembering and it's been over a year since my boyfriend and i broke up. for me (and it sounds like this is true for you, also) the best thing to do was to get rid of as many possible triggers as i could. this means music, things she gave you, photos, whatever. just throw it all in a box and forget about it temporarily. i know that some things are impossible to get rid of (environmentally), but really do as much as you can to get rid of the stuff that is reminding you of her.

the brain is very tricky, but you can outsmart it. and just remember, chances are that if she is weighing this heavily on your mind, you are probably on hers as well, at least to some degree. i promise you that it gets easier with time, and that changing your environment, your social life, etc., (as another poster suggested) can really make all the difference in the world. the more people you meet, the more you see how amazing other people are, and not just the one person you're focused on.
[QUOTE=Aalyisha]this is a hard one,i actually didnt see the previous post you mentioned but how long were seeing her?

its hard to foregt such a significant period you shared with another perosn and put it out of your head like it never happened...i know some people can do this but not me! and not you either by the sounds of it but its not necesarially a bad thing, it shows your capability of really caring for someone and opening your heart to them....even though sometimes it does get broken but there is very little we can do about that..as the saying goes ' it is better to have loved, and lost then to never have loved at all'

I dont know the background of this situation, who broke up with you or who hurt who etc but from what you have said in your post i can definatley tell you that if you dont want to get back together with this girl or there is no chance or reconcilliation then i urge you not to contact her as in my experience you will only end up hurting your self more.

There is no cure for a broken heart..only time but what i can suggest is to go out and have fun,meet new people,enjoy life...no matter how much you feel as though that is the absloute last thing you want to do. It will help you to remember that there is life after the ex..and that there is fun out there and happiness and the possibility of love and new friendship.

Just to clarify i have felt like what you are probably feeling now and its so hard because one day you feel fine and are getting on with life then next thing,...BAM out of no where all the old feelings and memorys come back and its quite over whelming really but after talking to a friend i got the advice which i stated above and decided instead of trying to block all the memories out of my head, i would remember them in a way that i was almost lucky to have experienced that happiness and try to be greatfull for that and go out and enjoy myself.

i dont know if that even makes sense but its the only way i can explain it!
hope i helped but i realise that everyone has there own way of dealing with things so i hope that what i said may be able to help you feel better..if not i sincerely hope that you will be feeling better soon.... :wave:

Aalyisha x[/QUOTE]

went out with her for 3 years, talk of marrage, kids blah blah blah. she needed to move interstate to study teaching (long story there), so i moved over 3 months early due to the job i got, and then she broke up with me via email. i only mentioned that i hadn't contacted her, to eliminate that as a source of these reoccuring feelings.

the advice you gave worked for me 9 months ago when i was dealing with the breakup, and i've established a new life, new friends, refound old hobbies, all in a new state... but it's just hit me again... should i just reset my life, and find another set of new friends etc?
Ha- I just got 'rejected' from my rebound today. I had no feelings for the guy, was just trying to rebound, and he said he just wanted to stay friends and didn't want emotional attachment. I was like, same here! I was just following your lead, what are you talking about? -and then I cried...I just couldnt handle another rejection, it wasnt even about HIM. And I felt slutty.
I tooootally understand not wanting another relationship, even after 9 months. Honestly, I feel so hurt and damaged right now that although it seems like a good idea in a way, I couldnt handle getting hurt again for a while. That was made clear to me today.
Maybe the fact that the others havent worked out brings you back to your ex 9 months later, because it was a good relationship and makes you miss the stability you had with her. I didnt want anything with my rebound guy (I just thought it would be more than 2 times!!), but when I got rejected from him it made me immediately want my ex back and I felt very lonely. It passed soon after. I really think that when you DO find someone else that IS stable and WILL last, you will forget about her much more. Until then, I guess its back to how you dealt with it in the beginning- keeping busy, etc. Thats just my idea, I dont fully know how it goes in this position, Im just starting out (2 months)...I would never wish this pain on anyone.





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