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Relationship Health Message Board


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hi again everyone! for those of you who have responded to my previous posts, yes - my g/f came back around just as was suggested. we got together before new years and talked a lot, shared a lot, cried a little - what not. she told me she loves me and has missed me like crazy and didn't realize just how much. she said there hadn't been any one else, or at least not like me. she shared that she was still scared of all her feelings for me and that i'm still the only one who can make her feel and she was still scared of that. but also that if i could be patient with her, that she wanted us to work on our relationship and that there isn't any one else nor does she want to date any one else. (our relationship ended because of her out of the blue wanting to date others - previous posts). we talked about how we get close, let our walls down then she takes off running again. she said that was because she was scared...but again if i could be patient and continue to just let things be like i had previously then she could very easily see herself letting her walls down completely and not running any more because she loves me and wants to be with me. i assured her that if/when that happened she would be in good hands - and that yes i would be patient....

so anway, we spent new year's eve together with friends then went out with friends the following sunday night. things were great - she referred to me as her girlfriend during conversations/introductions...however, late sunday night after we got back to her apt. during a conversatoin i GUESS i made the mistake of mentioning that i was a little envious that her friends had more time to spend with her than i (we live 45 min. apart and were only seeing each other a couple times a week and on weekend).

so anyway, when i leave her place monday morning after new years, she holds me tight telling me how much she is going to miss me during the week and that we would try to get together during the day...monday nite we talk and things were fine. tuesday morning things were fine when we talked. tuesday nite i felt some distance in talking so i asked about that. her response was that she was concerned because of my "envy" about her friends. i told her it was just a moment in time and that i am glad she now has some good friends to turn too. wed-friday - still distance from her and her bringing that up. i re-assured her that it was over and done with - that envy moment. (and no we didn't get together during the week).

we talked friday during the day a couple of times and things seemed to be fine. then she calls me late friday night after going out with friends, asking "what ARE we doing"? we haven't talked all week and you haven't sent emails every day (which is NOT true - i would send at least one), she said "you aren't calling me every 5 minutes (which is true - cuz i NEVER called every 5 minutes - and i explained that i allow her to call me cuz i don't want to pressure her but instead still give her space - blah blah). so she said she was tired and we would talk tomorrow.

saturday i left her a message later in the morning to tell her i would be in the area either that day or sunday and asked if she wanted to get together. sent her text message. never from her saturday. sunday i was in town and left her text message "sorry i missed you" (since she never responded to voice mail)...never heard from her UNTIL i IMed her tuesday morning even tho i sent emails/fone messages - and even tho she was on line a lot - she never contacted me....

and when i did...she said her "sources" have informed her that i have another girlfriend and how i am bragging about that and sleeping with her too and basically explointing our sex life on line and accused me of being with women on line and that she did NOT get any voice message or text message from me on saturday and that i must be thinking about my other g/f, and and and and. and this is why she hadn't called and wasn't going to call. needless to say i am very hurt and angry about these accusations because NONE are true - and she knows that. well now she has asked that i don't ever contact her again cuz she's not playing games with me....

course i have heard this before from her...the no contact. and usually she will contact me after about a week...but why make this crap up? some have said we got way to close and she is freaking (running again), especially since i will be moving to same town she is in...some say she is testing me once again...but my gawd - these accusations are hurtful...i sent her an email saying that all this stuff crazy and i only love her and that i don't know where all this is coming from, nor who her sources are (if there even are any other than stuff she's conjured up because of fears/insecuties) but these things said were totally UNTRUE - and asked to please let's talk...but got the response of please don't contact me again - i'm not playing games with you (yet isn't this a game she has created)....

what is there to be made of THIS now recent "ordeal"? i know she has a commitment phobia and fears of being hurt or reject (she admitted that she was afraid would hurt or reject her so that was part of this "running") and what not but come on! this hurt me really badly....and when she does come around again - then what?

after something like this (these false accusations) how do you trust (them)again, especially if it was FEAR that has played a role...and as for her fear of rejection from me - boy she sure has made sure THIS time around i would! help!





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