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My situation with my (now ex) boyfriend was different, but I put a post up a while back that was entitled pretty much the same thing (check under Lals49, my other name, I think it was something like 'We never see each other'.). Sorry this is long, I just have a lot of personal experience here with this type of general feeling of inequality.
My ex started dental school this year, and all of a sudden it was like a light switch was turned off. We were long-distance for a whole year before this school year, got super-close over that time, and couldnt wait to be in the same city, so it was wonderful when he got here- it was like we were honey-mooning. We spent all our time together and I felt like we reinstated our love by being together whenever we desired. Well, as soon as his tests piled up, I was suddenly expendable. It got to the point where I was bawling my eyes out often, and I even tried to compromise with him to see me just one night a week, which was ridiculous considering how much we usually saw each other- after two days even HE used to come up and see me saying it had been 'too long'. When I tried to compromise to one night a week, he actually REFUSED (what a jerk). Said he didnt have 'the time' beacuse of studying.
I'm 23 and my then-boyfriend, who I thought was the love of my life and who I thought I wuold marry (due to mutual plans) was 22. You and I are both pretty young. To be honest, I got so frustrated with always being the one to give up MY time and energy and try to compromise. I felt like I was always there for him when he wanted me and he was rarely there for me when I wanted him. He ended up breaking up with me 2 months ago, saying that he was mistreating me and needed to be alone. Sometimes, I wish I was the one to do it, because now it makes me look sort of pathetic that I put up with such bad treatment for a month (it happened so suddenly, just in a month's time).
My point here is, I thought it was just a temporary thing- he was busy, he was adjusting, it was a new life for him, etc etc etc. I made a lot of excuses. Yet, it wasn't temporary. It was really just his true colors showing through. I can SORT OF understand my guy's selfishness and immaturity due to his young age, but its still no excuse. I dont think he'll change much with age. Your guy being 33, well, i think he can do a lot better than that! I guess it comes down to whether you can deal with this forever, or if you feel truly unequal in your devotion to each other. Looking back, I felt pretty unequal often with how much I gave in general (due to other things), which is what started a lot of arguments near the last month of my relationship...I just hadn't gotten to the point yet where I wanted to be without him. Not at all! I guess I just feel like yours might not change if you hang on and/or try to change him into giving you more time. Mine didn't. My advice- have you talked to him about this? Try compromising your weekends a little and see how willing he is to bend in some ways (one saturday with his friends, the next with you? Something of the sort.) Mine obviously didn't want to compromise at all, which I think said a lot about his feelings toward me, (AND his character as a person) so maybe you can get more insight there if you see what hes thinking.





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