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I will tell you why my self esteem is so low. But i always found this to be an excuse.I was married twelve years to a man that emotionally abused me then acted like I was a queen. He would make comments like youre getting fat, why do you wear your hair that way you Fat? i was a size 8 for crying out loud. Tell me i was stupid blah blah blah...then would act like i was the best thing that ever happen to him. When i was younger I was always told how ugly I was. i dont think i am but somewhere deep in my mind these memories still lurk. I am really trying for my own sake to build up my self esteem.You are right I do have low self esteem why am i needy? i wouldnt say needy. Like i said my x, my x bf used me, the other guys i was with just wanted one thing. Went with one guy that I found out was married that really sucked. So you see me meeting this guy just throws me for a loop. I am used to guys calling me. i just miss him .may sound stupid but i do. He makes me happy makes me laugh. All he knows about how i am feeling is what i went and did today, wish i didnt ,thats my problem i do stuff without thinking of the outcome, but hopefully with some support I can control my stupid urges. Being divorced isnt easy. Especially when the father never sees the children. Kids and i just made a nice dinner and sat and talked it was GREAT! My kids keep me sane and from thinking too much but at times my mind wonders and gets the worst of me... I am really going to try this time. No calls,no low thoughts. Whatever happens will happen. I have to think postive and these boards are really helping me get thru my "low" days!!!!





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