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Relationship Health Message Board

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I have been married for 23 yrs. The first couple of years, I had a 'feeling' my husband might have something on the soon went away. 5 yrs and two childern later, I got that 'feeling' again...this time I was going to resolve this 'feeling' .....I got him! I had always said if my husband cheated on me, that would be it.....not so easy when you are in the situation. We had just moved to a new town, two kids 2 & 4, and no job. He admitted everything, we are Christians, he went to the Church and confessed and repented. Things went well for many years as far as my husband proving himself, although he still worked with the 'woman' (still does), I really had a hard time letting it go. I ended up on depression meds, going to counselors and Doctors for ten years, (I am on anti anxiety meds to date.) Finally, I got past the pain, and for the last 5 yrs things were going good, finally, I felt like I could trust him. It was actually a very nice feeling. This past summer....I began to get that 'feeling' again! I prayed about it, "if something is going on, show me" was thrown right in my face (via e-mail)! I found out, my husband has been on the dating sites. He denies it (of course), he is so dang stupid, I found him very easily (without a picture)......The first site I found, I registered, and flirted with the fool.....he denies it! I printed the flirts off.... I went through his cookies (on his lap top) and found porn sites he has been on. I think he got into this cyber stuff.

I know men are visiual beings, and I really do not have a problem with him looking at woman, but why can't we do it together? Why does he feel he has to do it behind my back. The problem I have with the dating sites, has he met up with some of the woman? Do the woman know he is married? Or would they care? I don't think much about these sites.

So now, the trust is gone! I don't believe any thing he says any more....I have spent much to much time on the net trying to find just one more site......(matter of fact,found one today!) I am so tired...I am trying to get a kid through HS, trying to support a kid through college, and I am waisting my time tracking my husband, when I know what he is doing. He would never admit he has met any one, I can't get him to admit he is on the sites!

What to do next? I had images of us growing old together, watching our kids graduate from college, wathing our grandkids together. I mean after what I went through the first 14 yrs of marriage, getting through that, I deserve the best. I am so confussed.

I have been out of the work place for 5yrs, went to get a job the other day and picked over by a 24 yr old. Who wants to hire a 50 yr old woman?

[B]What to do.....what to do......[/B]does anyone have the same kind of story, and what did you do? Any advice, anyone?
Thanks :confused:

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