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Re: To Murray-
Jan 21, 2006
I know what you mean about there being a void. I talked to mine every single consecutive day starting from when we first SPOKE, up until he said 'I need space'. That was really hard. The whole thing was just too much to bear, it was like you're used to this pattern of comfort and then it just stops cold-turkey, like the person died.
I also know about your wish to meet and talk, haha there are so many people on here that I wish I could meet up and talk to, I feel like we'd all be great friends.
I saw the end coming too, it was just too fast. It started around early-mid Oct. So, a month, total. He said that it seemed to him a lot longer than that, but I think he was lying, because he never showed it to me, he was always the same loving guy. He also said that when everytihng in your life is stressful and going negatively, everything else seems to be. Well! This is what I thought all along until this new girl, and he doesnt look stressed or depressed to me in those pictures! Clearly he didnt feel stresed and depressed enough to not start up a new rltsp! (Sorry, getting angry again). I agree with you that love doesnt seem worth the risk of this pain. To me, a month of throwing someone away you've been together so long with is absurd. I know I wasnt married to the guy, but I felt like I was going to be. I would have married him tomorrow (and probably made a huge mistake). I guess for me I would have really thought it out like if I was married, you know? And really fought to make it work, and that was what I was doing...but it goes to show that his feelings just changed for me and he didnt find it worth all that.
I keep thinking back to our happy times when we met in college, and even though that was almost 2.5 years ago for me, it feels like an ETERNITY. I feel like I am so much older and have progressed so much more than then, so it makes it seem like me and him were together through so much- and of course we were. I guess I just need to focus on the fact that Im 23 and he was only in my life for a short time, as special as that time was.
Im glad you told your mom and will confide in your friends. Otherwise, you will feel even MORE lonely and lost. I remember the first two weeks or so of this for me, I felt extremely empty...just like there was nothing inside of me, nothing that makes you usually tick (emotions, love, laughter, anger). There was just...nothing. So feeling what you are feeling is normal. And we will be OK. I am doing better already once I got off the huge shock of the female dental friend turned 'new thing'. I could relapse again, but as long as I have good days here and there and not every day is horrible, that is good!
The one thing i HAVE noticed is that I have become extremely messy, haha. I cannot bring myself to do any chores (laundry), clean, organize...I am not sure why but that is starting to get to me. I could do it before this new development, but as of this week, I havent been able to do it...:( When Im not out running around, at work or class, I am laying in bed on the laptop with the TV on (as I am right now). So I hope I snap out of this soon.
I agree w/ you- we WILL be ok. It will take some time, probably a long time. I still compare every single guy on the street to him, and no one is even close. Part of me still struggles with the idea of him ever coming back and what I would do, and I need to STOP that. Hes not going to.
I think that I am one of these people who believes very stongly in 'love everlasting' and that once its there and it is there as strong and intense as I knew it was for us, it doesnt just go away. My ex is an example of it just really 'going away'. So because I am so huge on that idea of love being unconditional and long-lasting, I think that is another reason why I am hurt this deeply and feel so rejected, lost and tossed aside.
I think you are doing extremely well. I have no doubt that you will even progress better and quicker than I have. Keep posting, I really enjoy helping each other out, and that goes for everyone else as well.

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