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im not shy but i am so insecure.. i may not show it... not many people know about it...

i have a lot of complaints about me 1.)physically... (short: im only 5'0" tall. i mean, short and i dont like my hair, my chest, my tummy)
2.)emotionally (sometimes i dont think my boyfriend really loves me, i actually think it's pity. i actually talked to him about this, and he said he never thought i'd think about it that way, and how far it is from the truth. i just tend to think that im not worthy to be loved, cared for, and to spend time with...)

and yes, i tend to be very dependent. i am a bit clingy.. but my boyfriend is not complaining about it.. actually we're both compatible on this part... we spend a lot of time together, and if we're both home, we talk on the phone!

it is hard when we have a fight, he's usually a very sensitive guy so he doesn't get over his hurt feelings right away since he needs time, which would mean the silent treatment.. and it kills me... so instead of respecting his time and space im usually begging him to accept my apology (i cry and call him a hundred times, send him text messages)... sometimes, even if it's not my fault....

at times i pity myself.. but on the bright side, arguments rarely happen...

so i guess being too dependent has something to do with insecurity... but shyness has no relevance on it whatsoever...





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