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Am I Being Selfish
Jan 27, 2006
thanks guys, sorry i was a little hasty. i reposted my situation,
scroll down..
Can you repost? I'll be happy to respond cause there are days where I wonder if I'm being selfish too.
Be patient, Young Grasshopper ;) . It takes others a little while to read posts, formulate a response, and respond sometimes. It usually doesn't occur within the first 15 readers, either. The average time that it takes for a post to be responded to: after 30-40 people have read it. Don't take anything personally on here. People have their own lives too, so you can't be waiting around for people to respond. Post a thread, and then come back to it after a day or two.

So, repost and I'm sure that someone will respond very soon. You already have one person, besides myself, who would be happy to give some feedback :D .

((((idunno)))) come on!!! It's a Saturday, people might have slept in or are still out. Please repost again, ok?
I think a huge majority of the viewers on this board come online during office hours, so during the weekend, there's a lot less people viewing ...

re-post if you want ... I'll read.
hey i'm back...
well it's kinda pointless to repost the question now because I decided to break things off with my boyfriend :(

but here's the story..

we were together for 7 months. we had minors tiffs, mainly because he didn't call me that day which he know irritates me to no end. after he lost his job i wouldn't see much of him because he had to watch his 2 children from a previous relationship. then he would make dates, then do a no call/no show (did it like 4 times). so now i'm angry because i think he's not valuing my feelings or this relationship. so the relationship began to get rocky.

3 weeks ago his was going through a situation where his mom tried to committ suicide becuase of her relationship, luckily it failed. he talked to her and figured it was a cry for attention, but they are currently on the outs. so a week after the suicide attempt, he disappears for a whole week. when i finally talked to him, he said he was going through something, didn't want to explain and needed to handle some things. i spoke to his stepdad and said things are stable between him and my bf's mom.

so now what's the problem??? what about us??? i started to feel alone in this relationship. first i stop seeing him on the regular, then he begins the no call/no shows, then disappear for a week??? i think its unfair. i never asked him to explain himself, i gave him space. i have problems too, but not to abandon the relationship!!! at first i thought, maybe i'm being too rough and should give him a chance. on the other hand, i have needs. if any other problems arise, is he going to bail again??? am i being selfish???

p.s. when a relationship ends for a guy, does he go through the motions but in a "guy" way????
No, you weren't being selfish at all. Somebody who repeatedly makes a date with you and then stands you up without apology or explaination is the selfish one. After it happened the second time I would have washed my hands of the guy right then and there. He may have a lot of his plate, but that ain't no excuse. I am glad you are moving on, good luck.
If guy has two kids from previous relationship he has to take care chances that he wants seriously be involved with somebody are rather slim or be ready that he would often be unavailable. I know two ladies who have 10 y relationships with guys who have 2 kids from previous relationships before they decided to get married and they don't want any more kids, women helped them to grow kids from previous relationships alone with there exes. I would not be happy with that kind of arrangements.
Hmm. I've been a similar situation with a friend of mine who's been really overwhelmed at work and her dad has been in and out of the hospital. I barely heard from her and was wondering why she didn't call or write to let me know what was going on. I realize she had a lot going on and I needed to give her space. I think what your boyfriend needed from you was understanding. But I also think it would've been good of him to at least call you to let you know that he wasn't ignoring you. So I wouldn't go so far as to say you were being selfish. If you were expecting him to spend time with you during all of this, then I'd that's selfish. But I don't think it's too much to expect that he at least call to say hi once in a while.
It seems there's a lot on your bf's plate right now, but it's still no excuse for completely ignoring you/standing you up for the dates you planned. It's simply rude and inconsiderate of him, especially to do it more than once. 4 times is more than enough for me to want to get rid of him for good. He is disrespectful and doesn't care at all about how it affects you. I don't think he would just not show up for a business meeting without giving the person some kind of a notice. If he failed to show up for work or a business meeting four times, he'd be fired, no matter what his family problems are, I promise you that.

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